Why Isn’t the Bi Community More Visible?

 Community Question: Why isn’t the bi community more visible?

The Bisex10676307_732103240220865_7682603959535040906_nual.org Community Question this week got a lot of thoughtful answers. The question reached more than 7,700 readers. Here are some of the diverse answers. You can still answer, too, and share.

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‪Patricia Gaebel‪ Some bisexual people have a hard time saying they are bi because of the stereo types. I’m proud to be bisexual and all my family and friends know it.

‪Brian Bartholomew‪ It is due to biphobia within the LGBT community, people still think that we have to pick a side.

Robert Sassade‪ It’s because a huge majority of bi people are still closeted. I meet them all the time. Attempt to organize a meet & greet in your community. You won’t get much interest, because a lot of bi people have not even told their marriage partner that they are actually bi. It’s a very closely guarded secret, so for them to participate in the community openly is not going to happen. I tried to set up a group in my community, but the resistance to holding it in a public place where people might overhear the word, kept them all away. It’s still very much a “nobody at work can know about this, and what would the neighbours say if they found out” attitude that brings our out numbers down dramatically.

‪Rhys Jones‪ Our fault as much as other people’s. I don’t think there is a bi community in London, as a distinct entity, like there is a gay community, which is highly visible. We are all scattered here and there. It would be great if we could be more visible as individuals but a community would never coalesce cos it would depend too much on single bi people to be active on its behalf

‪Eric See‪ Because it’s not one community. And people tend to either identify culturally either with the straight or gay/lesbian community. It’s not there are bi bars or clubs or vacation spots or what have you.

‪Andy Humphrey‪ It’s because people are assumed to be straight or gay based on the gender of their partner. This makes people believe that bisexuality doesn’t exist, hence the jokes, stereotypes, and lack of support.

‪Diana Rabadan‪ Because we “can’t make up our minds” because “if we are with a woman we can only be a label and if we are with a man we have to be another label” but we can’t be bi because we can’t like both.

‪Wendy Owens‪ It’s because we get hate from both sides. Straight people say make up your mind the other side we can’t have a serious commitment! I’m sorry I’m bi and when I’m with a guy I’m with just that guy. When I’m with a woman I’m just with her!

‪Joliett Santiago‪ Because of the belief “you either like one or the other, nothing in between” mindset that got bisexuals seem non-existent.

‪Jonathan Mayden‪ I also think it’s our personality. In my experience Bi people don’t seem to be as “In your face” (for lack of a better phrase) as our gay counter parts. By nature we seem to be people who prefer to keep our sex lives to ourselves. We’re not embarrassed or ashamed, I just think that by nature, we are a quite people.

‪Debbie Lawrence‪ Bisexual men and women often try to blend. I am transgender and Bisexual. I eventually found a single person who gave me the best of both worlds. ‬There were many years of being a confused chameleon

‪Jennifer K Fields‪ Because society wants to place people into one of two categories: straight or gay. Bisexual people fall into a grey area. For example when I am dating another female some of my family members will assume I am a lesbian but if I date a male I am straight. Most people just do not understand how I can be equally attracted to both sexes.

‪Bianka Hawkeye Diaz XD‪ People think we’re greedy and confused in which is wrong‬

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Mike Szymanski
Mike Szymanski has written about bisexual issues since 1989 and has one of the longest-running regular bisexual columns as the National Bisexuality Examiner. He came out as bisexual in a cover story of Genre magazine, which resulted in more than 50 television appearances, including Ricki Lake, Phil Donahue Show and 20/20. Szymanski won the Lambda Literary Award in 2007 for co-authoring an informative humor book “The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips and Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways.” Write him at [email protected]