Why I Freakin’ Love Being Bi on Bi Visibility Day

9/23/2017

Today is Bi Visibility Day, which means it’s the final day of Bi Awareness Week. The past few days, I’d been thinking about what I wanted to write about on this day because I do believe it’s an important one. It’s kind of like Christmas for bisexuals, ya know?

Do I want to focus on negative health disparities bi individuals face? Do I want dispel myths about being bisexual? Do I want to encourage everyone to be as visible as possible on this day? Do I want to talk about how, being bi, attractions to various genders ebbs and flows, and that’s 100% normal? Do I want to to talk about how I navigate being both polyamorous and bi? Do I want to discuss the internalized biphobia we all face, and how to overcome it?

I could keep going, but I think you get the picture. There were plenty of topics I could delve into on this fabulous day.

But as I was going through the potential topics, I realized how they were all, not necessarily negative (although many of them are), but rather, sad. They all had a common thread that tied everything together: the struggles we face for our (bi)sexuality.

Honestly, this made me feel depressed. On this day, I want to celebrate being bi. I want to encourage others to come out and embrace the label. I don’t want to bum everyone out on Bi Christmas. I’m not the bi Grinch over here. I want everyone attracted to multiple genders to shout from the rooftops why they fucking love — that’s right —fucking love being bisexual. So I figured I’ll start us off. Here are just a few of the reasons I love being bi.

First, I love the fact that my love transcends gender and appearances. I think, in a sense, love from a bi person is one of the purest forms of love. I’ve never shared this story before, hey, why not now?

When I came out to my father, he accepted me unconditionally. I was very lucky in this regard. Now I wouldn’t say my father is a religious man. He does attend Jewish services regularly; however, I think the music appeals to him more than the religious aspects. Nevertheless, I will make the claim that he’s a spiritual person.

I didn’t know this, but apparently, when he spoke to my brothers right after I came out to him, he said, “There’s something incredible about Zach. It says in the Torah that God made man and woman in his image. Zach can not only see the beauty — but the godliness — in every single person.”

When my brother told me he said that to them, I was shook. First off, it was one of the kindest things anyone has ever said about me. But second, I loved he was able to use the Bible to embrace, even praise my sexuality, as opposed to use it as a justification to discriminate.

Those words have stuck with me. There’s something pure, even godly (I don’t want to get too arrogant over here), about being able to see the beauty in everyone — regardless of gender.

Second, it’s fun. I feel like bi people can exist in both the gay and straight worlds — getting the best out of both. Yes, I know, sometimes it feels like we don’t belong to either, but sometimes, it feels like we belong to both. I have a few straight friends who I’m very close with. The guys I was friends with years before I came out. They not only stuck around after I came out, but also embraced, supported, and loved me through my whole chaotic coming out process. Now my straight friends and I do very different things when we hang out than I do with my (newer) crew of queer friends. I can dance shirtless to Madonna with my gay friends, and be more “chill,” so to speak, with my straight friends. I like having access to both of these universes.

Third, we’re cool. It’s like, have you hung out with other bi people? I feel like because we’ve dealt with such BS that comes with being bi, we have developed a hilarious sense of humor to cope. I mean, have you noticed how obsessed we are with puns? We also don’t buy into heteronormativity. This is partly due to the fact that many of us don’t neatly fit into the ideals of heteronormative society, so we exist outside of it. That makes us freakin’ cool. We’re not boring. We’re not like everyone else. We understand gender is on spectrum, just like sexuality. We understand that gender norms are BS. We just, like, “get it,” ya know?

So yeah! Thank the heavens I am bi!

While there’s a lot of nonsense we have to deal with, I would never, not in a million years, wish I was gay or straight. I love being bi. I love being me. And on this day, I’m going to not only be visible, but celebrate that fact that I am lucky— I’ll even go as far to say blessed — to be bi!

Happy Bi Visibility Day everyone!

Zachary Zane

Zachary Zane a Brooklyn-based freelance writer, speaker, YouTuber, and activist whose work focuses on (bi)sexuality, gender, identity politics, relationships, and culture. He’s a contributing editor at The Advocate Magazine, a columnist at Bi.org, and currently writes for The Washington Post, Cosmopolitan, Out Magazine, and PRIDE.