United States

Hi, I‘m Myriam. I am Bisexual.

I live in the Hudson Valley of New York. I work as a business advisor. I am an avid outdoors enthusiast and enjoy trail running, mountain biking, rock climbing, snowshoeing, and archery. I also enjoy writing. My greatest achievement is having brought two amazing beings into this world. They are now in their twenties, each making the world a better place.

What being bisexual means to me

I came out as a bisexual five years ago. I have always been equally attracted to men and women throughout my life, but chose to be with men due to the social stigma of same-sex relationships. However, I was unhappy I had never been with a woman... and once I opened up to actualize my desire, I never wanted to look back.

Embracing my bisexuality meant moving beyond society's hetero-normative idea of relationships and accepting my true being.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

I am not sitting "on the fence." I am genuinely and deeply attracted to both genders. In fact, to put it simply, I am attracted to PEOPLE.

A friend once told me the following:
a) We (straight) want to believe everyone is like us, because it is comforting.
b) Once we realize not everyone is like us (gays & lesbians), we judge those who are different as it is a bit scary.
c) Once we realize that some people are like us, but not exactly like us (bisexuals), it is very scary...

Don't be afraid of bisexuality - it is a beautiful thing!

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I always knew I was attracted to both genders, but never thought how important it was to actualize it until five years ago.

I was sitting on a beach during a vacation, and I asked myself, "If I were to die tomorrow, what would I regret?" And without missing a beat, my answer was, "To not have been with a woman."

Once back, I shared this with my long-time male partner, and he was supportive to my need to explore this side of me.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The toughest thing for me is coming out to my friends who think I'm straight because I've been with the same man for 17 years. Some have judged me ("Get over it," I was told), whereas others were simply confused.... Those who have been supportive love me for who I am, no matter what.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

I'm glad not to live in a box anymore. The world is huge and humans are fascinating.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

The biggest challenge for me is accepting that people will be uncomfortable or scared when I come out to them. Some female friends suddenly distanced themselves, thinking I might be suddenly interested in them. Others just can't understand. That's okay.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Be nice to yourself. Accept the feelings that come out, the fear, the longing, the desires, the frustrations... it's all part of the process.

Most of all, be honest with yourself. That's the most important part.