Male

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Vince. I am Bisexual.

Hello! I was an EMT in Northwest Indiana for over 5 years and before that I was a combat medic in the Army National Guard. I am currently a full time College student in New York.

What being bisexual means to me

For me, it's just being true to myself. I tend to prefer women slightly more than men most of the time, but at other times I really do sexually crave men. I know that there is a misconception that "all bisexual men want to be in a relationship with both a man and a woman and I don't mean to perpetuate that....but in my particular case, I think that I might be happiest in that sort of three-way relationship. I know.... good luck with that one. Right?

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

That we AREN'T confused....or closeted homosexuals.....Now that may be the case for some..SOME... and hopefully they will come to eventually figure themselves out. But also.... most people in that category probably don't come out as bisexual anyway.... Why would someone who's really gay want to come out as bisexual? Homosexuals are definitely a lot more accepted in society than bis. It would be so much easier to just say I'm gay... but that would be a lie.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I realized that I was attracted to the male body since I was 8. It was a "bad" thing though, and I would try to just ignore that. In my early teens I started to have dreams about being with guys....but I'd also dream about women... I decided to ignore the male fantasies because I "knew" I was straight... After all, I knew that I enjoyed sex with women.

While in the Army, I was very closeted about my sexuality for obvious reasons. I explored it once when I was 19 with a man in Chicago that I met on Yahoo chat.... I know that I enjoyed it but there was an intense sense of shame and regret. Sometime after that happened, I began a long term relationship with a great girl and I was very much in love with her.... but there were times when I really did crave to be with a man... I could never tell her about this though.. I knew it would devastate her. I think that had much to do with why we broke up. I'm still not quite out. The general perception of me, I think, is that I'm straight.

I'm at the point now where I no longer want to exert the energy that it takes to keep it hidden.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Feeling like it's a turn off to many women and gay men.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

The variety of experiences. Not being limited in who I'm attracted to because of sex/gender.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

I haven't come out per se, but my mother suspects as much and she is very supportive.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Stop hiding it. You don't necessarily have to make it a huge coming out event, just do it.