United States

Hi, I‘m Raven. I am Bisexual.

I am a writer and poet by birth, and have been writing since I can remember. I was published at the age of 14 as I published a book of poems and short stories I've written between the ages of 11 and 14. I've been working on my "debut" novel for many years now and I'm almost ready to publish it. I've also got some ideas for other novels! I'm a student at CUNY Queens College and I've decided to major in English with a potential double major in acting. For now, I'm thinking of being an editor, though I'm leaving myself open to other avenues. I love the arts and I've always wanted to be an actress. I'm more of a vibrant, self-expressive person that also loves painting and drawing as well as photography. With my novel I hope to make it big so I can donate to all of the environmental organizations, social (LGBT, Women's) movements, humanitarian and philanthropic causes, and animal's rights organizations. I'm the most passionate about lessening and ending the suffering and abuse of animals as well as the prejudice women and the LGBT community face. I am also into spirituality and understanding the world on a deeper, more meaningful level as I enjoy gaining knowledge and teaching others my wisdom. Through these mediums, passions, and goals, I hope to get my messages across, bring people together, and bring about positive change. Additionally, I am a well seasoned traveler, having visited dozens of countries, my horizons greatly broadened by seeing those foreign places, interacting with the people there, and best of all, sampling the cuisine!

What being bisexual means to me

To me, bisexuality means being able to see the beauty in everyone for the people they are, love them as they are, and express those feelings on multiple levels.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

Bisexuals are just regular people with their own likes, dislikes, hobbies, feelings and dreams--We're all here for a reason. Additionally, whoever we decide to be intimate with is nobody's business other than our own and the person we're with. We're real and exist and we're not unnatural. Stop trying to explain us and just be who you are and we'll do the same!

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

Being bisexual has been a bit of a challenge for me because I found myself attracted to females freshman year of high school and I had a boyfriend who wasn't supportive of my sexuality and had me suppress it. After we broke up two years later I was free, but at the same time there was still love dying within me. I wanted to love someone and show them that they were beautiful, male or female, but mostly, I wanted to be with a girl. It's a bit of a messy story after that, but I had found myself liking one of my straight friends, and that was a struggle because I really cared about her and she wanted what I wanted to give but she just couldn't accept it. Fast forward, she and I are still friends and I have another boyfriend, my childhood friend from kindergarten. This time, he accepts me wholly and fully for who I am and that's what I've always wanted, but there's still that part of me that desires a loving relationship with another girl, to taste the succulence of another woman's lips. So long as I'm with my boyfriend, whom I love, I will remain loyal and faithful. However, I feel so conflicted; I feel like I'm cheating on him dreaming about being with women somehow. He reassures me that's not the case but I can't help it. I get so emotional and sometimes I think it would be so much easier if I was just straight, but I wouldn't change my bisexuality for anything. I've decided I'll read lesbian literature and watch lesbian movies on Netflix, as I feel more of an attraction to women than men, but I just don't know what to do about my feelings and desires. My boyfriend proposed that someday we could engage in a threesome for my sake but I don't want him to be intimate with another woman. Hypocritical, no? I hate myself for that. I don't want to share him and he doesn't want to share me, so I have a slight dilemma. I am happy with him, for sure, but I can't help those feelings. I don't want to break up with him and I don't want to cheat on him, so the only thing I can think of is him being okay with me being with other girls, but I don't think that's fair and neither of us are ready for that. We've both just decided to focus on our relationship, which I think is a great decision and something I'm happy doing, but those desires are still with me...

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Having desires and dreams about being with other women when I'm in a committed and very loving relationship with my boyfriend when we're in no way ready to share each other.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

Finding other bisexuals who know the struggle and being able to appreciate the beauty of the human body.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My peers have been accepting and don't really see me differently, I don't think. I'm not very forthright with my sexuality because I still feel it's a repressed part of my being, but those I have told have been nice about and still love me for who I am. I haven't really told my family because they're prejudiced, but two of my cousins know and they still love me just the way I am. Other than that I haven't really told that many people.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Don't be afraid of your sexuality and love yourself totally and completely for who you are. It's okay <3