United States

Hi, I‘m Stefanie. I am Bisexual.

I have been married for almost 12 years to my best friend who is the most understanding and caring man. Without his support I would not have the courage to accept ME. I enjoy writing short stories and poetry and I dabble in all sorts of artistic mediums. I've lived in the Mid-West my entire life and I am definitely a country girl at heart. I love spending time outdoors hiking and camping.

What being bisexual means to me

Plain and Simple: Being bisexual means that I am naturally attracted to both genders.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

I am not going through a phase, or experimenting; these are real feelings and desires that I have always felt. They are not temporary.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I knew at a very young age that I am attracted to both genders but growing up in a Christian family I was taught that any form of homosexuality is sinful and an abomination so I lived in fear of going to hell for feeling this way. I mostly suppressed my feelings during my teenage years and only had relationships with guys however there were a few glorious (and guilty feeling) moments when I acted on my attractions towards women. Looking back, I really wish I had known that what I felt was completely normal and that lots of people have these feelings. I met my husband shortly after high school and I came out to him as being bisexual before we got married. He has never criticized me for being this way and has been extremely understanding. I have only recently come out to a few close friends and family.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The stereotypes that bisexuality is a life-phase, identity crisis or being confused.
The fear of certain people finding out, knowing they will be disappointed.
Figuring out how relationships should work.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

This is a hard question because I really feel like it should say, "What is the best thing about coming out as bisexual" because I don't choose to be bisexual, I just am. Coming out as bisexual has been a huge sigh of relief because I have kept this a secret for my entire life. With the exception of a very few people, I have not shared this information until now.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

I have had some of the best, supportive responses from friends and family including my husband, my mom and my sister. When I began telling a few friends, some felt awkward and have stopped talking to me and others taught me what true friendship means. They accept me, give me advice and just provide a shoulder to cry on.

There are still some people that I dread the day that they find out because I know that they will be disappointed or even fearful that I am going to hell or they will say I am disgusting or sinful and that really hurts because those people are family and I love them so much.

Fortunately for me, I am at peace with who I am AND my spirituality. I feel free knowing that I don't have to hide who I am anymore!

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Coming out is a personal decision and one that can be heartbreaking. I'm doing it in little steps. First, I told my partner (boyfriend at the time) and after years of confiding in him, I finally got the nerve up to talk to some close friends about it. After some more time passed, I told my sister and cousin and then most recently, my mom. Posting this is another little step toward coming out and one that I am both scared and happy to do.

I have to say the best advice is to find someone you can confide in, even if it is online support group. Remember that you are not alone!