Male

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m David. I am Bisexual.

I am an accountant in the medical field, originally from the Midwest, but living in Los Angeles for many years now. I love it here, because the open-mindedness and creative atmosphere of Southern California makes it a wonderful place to nurture my wide variety of passions and interests. I love the outdoors, hiking, and spending time anywhere from the mountains to the beach and all points in between! I enjoy travellng (when I can), I am involved with many different organizations (some LGBT-themed, some not), and most importantly, I love hanging around with the absolutely incredible group of friends that I have!

What being bisexual means to me

To me, being bisexual means that I have the ability to love and connect with people regardless of their sex. There are so many factors in determining one's physical, emotional, and spiritual attraction to another person, but to me, a person's sex isn't one of these factors.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

Bisexuals aren't "confused", we are not "unable to choose", and we are totally capable of committing to one person, We get a bad rap about "hiding" in the straight world in order to enjoy heterosexual privilege (although many bisexuals also "hide" in gay/lesbian circles), but in truth, if bisexuals felt more welcomed within the LGBT community (and that varies widely among LGBT communities), more bisexuals would come out, as many of us want to be proud, active participants within the greater LGBT community. We are, after all, the "Bs" in LGBT!

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

Like many bisexuals, when I was growing up, I focused solely on my opposite-sex attractions and tried to ignore my same-sex attractions. I remained wholly closeted through college and into my mid-20s, only dating women. Since I could comfortably function within the straight world, that's what I did. Until I finally realized I simply had to explore this other side of me. Although I understood the concept of bisexuality, there really was no bi community, and I knew no one who was bisexual. There was only the gay/lesbian world, and so I explored that. The conventional line of thinking then was that bisexuality didn't really exist: it was only a transition into becoming fully gay. I was told that if I had any same-sex attractions, I was gay, and that was that. It was an either-or situation. I was told that all my prior opposite-sex relationships and feelings had been fake, or "manufactured", and that once I came out as gay, I would be comfortable with my "real self" and all those "artificial" opposite-sex attractions would dissipate. Deep down, I didn't really believe that, but I didn't want to argue with my new friends, and my new community. And at first, it didn't matter anyway, since going out to gay venues and parties and dating men became my focus for awhile. It was a part of me that had been so long-denied, that I was like a kid in a candy store, and it was exciting! For all practical purposes, my life was the same as any gay young man, and so I allowed myself to be labeled as that, even though it was never a perfect fit for me. After several years, and a couple of boyfriends later, I began to notice that those opposite-sex feelings, which I had been told would "dissipate"------hadn't. I was confused as to why I would still be looking at women as well as men when walking down the street, or at the beach, or wherever. Suddenly, I was "hiding" some of my feelings again---I was back in the closet, but the opposite way from before! It was then that I discovered the bi-community in Los Angeles, and I was so relieved to find so many like-minded folks, who didn't care whether I had a boyfriend OR a girlfriend! THIS was finally the perfect fit I had been seeking for so many years!

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The toughest thing is when I encounter hostility from people in the gay/ lesbian community. I more or less expect possible hostility from some people from the straight world, but you would think the others within the LGBT community would be more open-minded. The 2nd-toughest thing is when your sexual identity isn't taken seriously. Or when people won't date you (usually straight women or gay men) because they worry that you'll never fully be satisfied with only them.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

I find that those in the bisexual community very often tend to be open-minded, intelligent, broad-thinking individuals. I'm not sure why---maybe it's a result of years of deep analytical thought (naturally, many bisexuals have likely done a lot of self-analysis trying to figure out who we are and where we fit in the world!), but whatever the reason, I have never met a community of people who are simultaneously so diverse, yet uniformly so consistently warm, accepting----and fascinating! And although being bisexual sometimes throws out roadblocks in one's dating life, it also opens up one's horizons and allows a person to experience such a wonderfully wide-range of people to date, to love and to make one's life with! :)

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

In my professional life I sadly am still forced to maintain some degree of discretion about my personal life. As for family and friends, the reaction has ranged from discomfort, disbelief, to great acceptance, or even such indifference as to result in nothing more than a yawn. :) The good news is that as time goes on, the positive reactions gradually outweigh the negative ones, and the younger folks are far less bothered by it than the older folks (within both the straight and gay communities)