Hi, I‘m Dan. I am a documentary film maker working and living (for the most part) in Hollywood, CA with my wonderful, bisexual wife, who has luckily kept me around for the past 10 years. Along with supporting her as we explore how her bisexuality has helped shape our relationship into what it is now, I also have been working in LGBT rights, specifically through film, for several years. I also enjoy painting, reading and seeing shows around town.
What being bisexual means to meThe beauty of bisexuality, to me, is that it means many different things to many different people. The root commonality, though, is the freedom to love whomever and however you want.
What was your path to a bisexual identity?I guess my bisexual identity would fall under straight supporter, or spouse supporter... some kind of support. Anyway, my wife and I had both met after coming out of ultra-religious and conservative upbringings. We were together for several years before she even began to realize that she was, in fact, bisexual. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her from the moment I met her, and that I fell in love with her completely. Being bisexual is a part of who she is as much as being Irish and wordy when filling out profiles is a part of who I am. Loving someone is about loving and supporting (see- support) every part of them, and where she had never experienced being with another woman, I didn't want her feeling like she was missing out on something, which could one day lead to her feeling repressed and resentful. So we talked. For a year we just talked. We talked about what I was okay with; what she was; what we each might feel threatened by; just tried to cover every base ahead of time so there was no misunderstandings or hurt feelings. We have what we like to call a Binogomous lifestyle. Essentially, what we came up with, which works for us, is that we don't go outside our relationship, but have been known to bring others into it. I don't know if that makes sense, but it works for us.
What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?I think the toughest thing must be having to fight for the right to define yourself. It seems that bisexuals, more than any other spectrum of the diversity rainbow, have other people, both in the LGBT community and outside of it, telling them what they 'really' are ('you're really just gay', 'you're confused', 'you just haven't made up your mind yet', etc...). It's hard enough dealing with pre-conceived notions and prejudice from the general population, having it come from those who are supposed to be your allies must be as discouraging as it is surprising.