Female

Pansexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Anna. I am Pansexual.

Hey guys! I'm from the Greater New York City area, and I'm a student studying art and I'm going to go into acupuncture and nutrition. I'm obsessed with trying new food, camping, hiking, kayaking and more. Also, I could probably listen to music all day if that were possible, and I love a good music festival. I'm obsessed with art, and it makes me happier than most humans.

What being bisexual means to me

To me, bisexuality is the capability to not just love one sex, but the joy that comes out of loving both. I, however, identify as pansexual, which I believe means to have the capability to love more than the genitalia. It's much more like loving a person's spirit.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

I want people to know that we bisexual and pansexuals are obviously real (Hi! I'm one! I exist!). I always explain it to romantic partners as, "Some people like brunettes. Some like blondes. But, some like both of those, and red heads, and people who have raven black hair."

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

When I was younger, I always found myself being attracted to both boys and girls, and I remember this was especially distressing. I grew up in a very liberal family of artists, and my parents would frequently have gay and lesbian friends, and their partners, come over for dinner. And, from this I thought that one is either gay or straight, so I thought I was seriously messed up in the head for liking both girls and boys. I remember trying to convince myself which gender I should like, to just pick one, but it was too difficult because my first crush was on a boy, and after that it was on a girl, and it was felt the same.

When I got to middle school, upon joining the Gay Straight Alliance (whose name in itself perpetuates bisexual erasure, however that's beyond the point), I learned that bisexuality was a "thing," and a "word." I met similar friends, and acquaintances, that normalized bisexuality and introduced me to the world of it, and no longer did I feel alone. I felt so relieved.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The toughest thing is dating, and then dealing with heteronormative statements.

I am currently dating a guy that I completely love more than anything, and because of this, I have a family member frequently making statements like, "this guy, or whatever guy you end up with...," and it kind of chisels away at me, despite feeling confident with myself (almost as if, since I'm with a guy now, that doesn't mean I'll ever think of a girl again, etc, etc).

In relationships, it honestly depends on who you're dating, I find it best to be up front on the first or second date; to slip it in without making a big deal about it. The more you keep something from someone, it seems like you're hiding something from them. Typically, it is either that the person doesn't have much confidence, feels awkward, and frequently brings it up, or they really couldn't care less, and love you anyway.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

Being a part of a community of people that do all they can to protect one another from feeling erased.

In no way is being bisexual "doubling your chance of a date on a Friday night!" No.

Bisexual people still have types they like, interests, hobbies, and paths involving things other than group sex and polygamy.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Mainly, they either act like it doesn't exist, which makes me very angry, or they're curious and ask questions. I feel as though I don't surround myself with people who are not open-minded, so I don't typically encounter issues.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Honestly, first and foremost, love yourself, because there is a beautiful soul out there waiting for someone just like you. You may feel alone or weird, but if you have good friends, they will love you anyway. I don't think being bi is too crazy, it's mainly just a fact about someone you didn't know before. I feel as though coming out as any gender or orientation is TOUGH, but it is an excellent way to see who your true friends are.