Hi, I‘m Dean. I am Bisexual. I am a bisexual guy living in Wales, UK. I work in the broadcasting industry.
What being bisexual means to meBisexuality can be hard to come to terms with for many people, for all sorts of reasons. We tend to be ignored by the gay community (or simply thought by them to be in denial, until we "decide that we are gay") and treated as sex addicts by the straight community. In truth, bisexuality means that you can have relationships with men and women, and be more than just friends with both genders.
What I would like the world to know about bisexualsYES! we do have sex with men, and yes, we do have sex with women. So what? Deal with it! One thing is for sure, you can learn a lot from a bisexual.
What was your path to a bisexual identity?A long and difficult one is the short answer! For me, actually realising that I wasn't mentally ill or some kind of freak, or both, took years. There are millions of lgbt men and women in the world, just as there are millions of straight people. There are millions of short people and millions of tall people, but you wouldn't call a short person abnormal or a tall person a freak. So how many people does it take to be lgbt before their sexual orientation is simply seen as normal?
What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?Number one on the list, of course, is not being accepted by straight or gay people. Another tough thing is being seen as some kind of threat to everyone's husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend. We don't, despite popular belief, want to hop into bed with anything or anyone 24/7. We have more choice that's true, but more choice means higher quality, not necessarily higher volume.
What is the best thing about being bisexual?The best thing about being bisexual is that we are open minded, which makes us willing to try new things in life. Where's the benefit in looking at the world in one dimension? When I am asked this question, I tell people, you can just eat ice cream all your life if you so wish, and sure it tastes great, but so does strawberries and cream! Variety is oh so much the spice of life.
How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?As far as friends are concerned, some react surprisingly well, and some react surprisingly badly. You never can tell. And some still don't believe me! You lose some, you gain some, and even keep some (those you will discover are your real friends). But, if like me, you are married with kids, then expect more than a little hell on the journey to bisexualdom.
What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?My advice to you is this, once you reveal that you are bisexual, you can never put it back in the filing cabinet. Make sure you are certain that you are, in fact bisexual, and not simply going through a phase as they say, especially if you are young. Never rush into a decision to disclose your bisexuality, unless you want to. Don't forget, in most cases it's you who is in control, and it's none of their business anyway. Having said all that, don't do what I did, and live for years in an unhappy secretive world before telling someone. It's my biggest regret that the cloud over me stayed there far too long. Oh, and don't forget this, the people who you may be dreading telling the most are normally the people who accept you without question, whoever you are, whatever your sexuality. And finally I can tell you that it feels amazing when that cloud simply melts away .