Female

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Tara. I am Bisexual.

I grew up in Rockland, New York. I lived with my parents, who lived with my grandmother, until I was 25 years old. My husband and I moved to Connecticut after he got a job offer. I've had only a few relationships in my life: 3 were with men, and 1 was with a woman. The last boyfriend I had, has since become my husband. I still talk to my ex-girlfriend, and consider her a good friend, even though she lives in West Virginia. I enjoy spending time with my friends and family. My husband and I are open-minded Atheists. We don't plan on having kids of our own, and don't tell other people how they should live.

What being bisexual means to me

Although I've only had one relationship with a woman, and then married a man, I'm still attracted to women. I miss being with a woman, and my husband understands. I love him so much that I would never cheat on him. I'm thankful that he is okay with me reading Playboy magazine.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

We exist.

When it comes to people trying to tell the world that gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transsexuals don't exist, or are horrible people, just because they don't agree with their sexuality, that's where I draw the line.

No one has the right to tell someone they can't marry the person they love because of their religious beliefs. This country was founded on freedom of religion, and that includes freedom from religion.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

Even when I was a little girl, I would sneak into my parents bedroom and read my dad's Playboy magazines. I remember feeling attracted to women before I was even attracted to men.

When I was in the 8th grade, I met a girl and we became "friends". My girlfriend and I had a relationship that was secret. When she moved away it was hard, but we knew we wouldn't be able to make it work. We remained friends.

It was sometime during high school that I blurted out to my parents, and my sister, that I was bisexual. They told me it was a phase and I would get over it.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Not having my parents acceptance. I found out that my cousin, who I thought was gay for years, because he had been in a relationship with the same man since before I was born, was bisexual, and that my father, his uncle, had accepted him, but not me.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

It was George Carlin who said, "Can you imagine being bisexual and wanting to have sex with everyone you meet?" Although I have only had sex with one woman and one man (now my husband), it was nice to know that when I was single I had a variety of people to choose from.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Most have been supportive: my sister, cousin, friends, and my husband (who knew when we first started going out that I am bisexual). My mom is still in denial about me being bi, she thinks bisexuals can't be monogamous. The rest of my family including my husband's are very supportive.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

For someone who thinks they are bi, I would say to experiment. Try going out on dates with men and women. Imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with the same sex, and then with the opposite sex.

For someone who is trying to come out, it's harder. It also depends on their family. I've heard that people who grew up in religious households have a harder time. I would say, try to find out who in your family is more accepting of homosexuality and speak with them about it. Also, find out which of your friends accept it as well. Try to find people who will stand with you when you come out.

I know that if one of my nieces or nephews came out, I would not only help them, but I would also stand beside them, and if worst came to worst, I would let them live with me and my husband, where they know that they are loved no matter who they love.