Female

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Kai. I am Bisexual.

I'm from North Hollywood, California. I am a college student-athlete and for the majority of my life, basketball was everything to me. I don't play anymore, and so I'm on a path to finding something new to focus on. I love food. I have a hobby of photographing good food I eat and my album is about 400 pictures large. Aside from the career I have in mind, culinary school is my dream. I read a lot and I listen to loads and loads of music (except Country, I just can't get into it). I have a few simple mottos/rules: 1. I'll try almost anything once, and twice if I didn't like it. 2.Hakuna Matata 3.Don't wait for life to come to you, just go out and get it.

What being bisexual means to me

To me, being bisexual just means enjoying the company of both major genders (male and female). This can range anywhere from simple attraction to sexual encounters. Its different to each and every person, but this is how it is for me. It's kind of like being completely confident that you are absolutely confused.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

Dear World,
In case you haven't noticed, bisexualism is a real thing. It's not just a gray area between gay and straight. It doesn't mean we girls will unfailingly agree to threesomes. It just means we'll accept love/affection from either gender. We bisexuals have it rough. Not accepted by gays or lesbians because we aren't homosexual enough, and not understood by straight people because we're just too gay. Take it easy on us, okay?

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I had to figure my sexuality out through process of elimination. I'm not straight. I like girls too much. I'm not gay either. I like guys too much. It started as being a major tomboy. I had no female friends until middle school, which was also when the weird feelings towards these girls started. I always liked boys though. I pursued my attraction in my first year of high school, and while she broke my heart, we never did anything physical. This left me with only one last thing to test my sexuality with, so three years later I gave the physical part a shot. I knew before that what my outcome would be, but the experience solidified it.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The toughest part is not having people to talk to about what you are going through. Yes, there are LGBTQ organizations, but even there bisexuals are less common than gays and lesbians. Also for me, being bisexual is like being confident that you are confused. Its a constant game of tug of war in your head, females tugging on one end and males tugging on another. No matter which you choose at any given time, you are always missing the other side.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

I'm sure most people say the same thing, but the best part about being bisexual is that you get the best of both worlds. That doesn't mean you get them at the same time, but the liberty to dip where you please is nice.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My best of friends know and accept it. They don't understand it necessarily, but I'm grateful for their acceptance. I've yet to tell my southern family about it, they aren't as tolerant as Californians. As for my mother? She may have her suspicions, but she will never know as far as I am concerned.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

No matter what you do, it comes down to you and how you feel. Pay attention to yourself and your feelings if you aren't sure about them. Don't feel pressured to pick though, because in the end the only person it matters to is you. If you find that you are indeed bi, there are no obligations for you to change your Facebook information, join an LGBTQ club, and start telling everyone. The cool part about all this is that YOU make the rules.