United States

Hi, I‘m Carrie. I am Bisexual.

I am a 40 year old native Iowan with a MS degree in Counseling. I have cerebral palsy, hearing loss, and bipolar disorder so I have a lot of experience with the disabled community, both personally and professionally. I live with my husband of 12 years and our two cats. I love watching films and wish I had more friends locally, because I love people and their stories. If I could converse all day, I think I would be perfectly happy. I'm not a big talker, but I love people and want to know them. I should probably be a professional interviewer!

What being bisexual means to me

To me it means having the ability to show love to other persons regardless of gender. For myself this means romantic love and sexual attraction.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

That we are all unique and that there are many of us, we are just not all out and open. There is no sign that says "bisexual" on our heads so people tend to define us based either/or mentality.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

The first time I identified myself as bisexual was when I fell in love with actress Melissa Hayden (Bridget Reardon, GUIDING LIGHT). Until then I had identified as a straight ally. I was already a part of a campus group for LGB issues. The first friend I told laughed at me and said "No, you're not", so I kept it hidden a bit longer. Then I met my friend Christen and never waivered from that day. I came out only weeks later. That was 20 years ago.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The lack of visibility and the anger it creates among some. I have found many lesbian women who refuse to date a bisexual woman, whereas with heterosexual men its looked on as a turn on and a possible threesome opportunity.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

Knowing oneself. That awareness of identity is reassuring.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Mostly positive. My Mom is still in denial and thinks I'm "not practicing" (her words). I have some friends who "don't agree with that lifestyle" but they still love me.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Be true to yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself, it can be frustrating especially if you feel others don't understand you. I recommend sites like this, and doing further reading.