United States

Hi, I‘m Mark. I am Bisexual.

HI, My name is Mark and I live in Oceanside, California, which is on the coast about 35 miles north of San Diego. I am originally from Detroit, MI. I currently work counseling Homeless Veterans. Im a late bloomer as I returned to school and received my Masters degree in Psychology in 2013 at age 57, I loved the journey! I have son 24, was married for 19 years and am divorced 8. My interests include: Starbucks, Hiking, Baseball, movies and fun places to eat and play at in San Diego County as well as the entire beautiful state of California. Hiking is my passion and in September of this past year my son and I hiked Mt. Whitney, the highest mountain in the 48 United States, incredible experience to say the least. I have a website which presents my alternative way of counseling individuals in need and crisis.

What being bisexual means to me

I've never seen any difference to whom I have been attracted to from as far back as I can remember. In fact t just felt as natural to be intimate with males as it is with females for me, and that goes back to my early youth. I suppose if I had to "define" my sexuality. I'd say Im romantically and wanting to "be in love" with females, and sexually attracted aroused by males. However, I love the warmth and intimacy of being with a woman and the level of communication, connection and relationship I can receive from that, all of which lead to a very passionate sexual experience. With men most of my experiences have been based on sexual attraction, but I do see where I can receive the same connection, warmth and intimacy, which gives me a very fulfilling and satisfying sexual experience.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

That our sexuality is our truth, we are who we are, just as a person who consider themselves straight, they are who they are. Ive heard that bisexuals want the best of both worlds, and thats certainly true for me. However, bisexuals don't go out of their way to achieve/find this best world, it just is. With that can come the same discrimination, and judgement that other factions of society receive who do not conform to the "norms" of those who can't conceive of anything different from themselves. I also believe that there are numerous and varied definitions of what being bisexual is. There are also many myths to bisexuality, especially that we are sleeping with anything and anyone, some bisexuals are promiscuous, but so are some straights, some gays or some whoever. From my experience most bisexuals are in monogamous relationships and never act on there "other" attraction.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

From an early age its never been an issue to me who I have been attracted. Its always felt perfectly normal to sleep with either a male or a female. ive been in a long term marriage with a female and never acted upon my sexual attraction to men. However, I did notice that after my divorce I felt much more living in my truth to be able to fulfill my attraction to men. I think the biggest awareness that this provided me was the relief of being me, living my truth and feeling very secure in my sexuality.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

As I stated earlier I prefer a woman for a romantic "being in love" relationship and I find most women are not open to a bisexual man. As I have become much more secure and accepting with who I am and my sexuality I know the "right" woman will come along and accept me for me. I also have found that there are discriminations against bisexuals and oddly enough many from the gay community present this. Ive heard gays say that I am confused as to who I am and can't admit that I am gay. I of course know it not to be true and I can't change the judgements of anyone, but I do find it odd that a community such as the gays least of all should be judging others knowing the same discrimination that they incur from society.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

I am living my truth, it is such a relief to be so open and honest with myself. I also find I am much more loving and compassionate due to my self awareness and acceptance of myself, I can radiate this to others.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

I am much more open about my truth, I have on my Facebook page, and I am always commenting on and I know my Facebook friends see that and some have commented to me. I quite frankly was surprised at how little of a reaction I get and it does not seem to have an affect on anyone. My close finds know and more importantly I am fine with what anyone thinks and very secure in who I am.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

From my experience the more secure I am with myself, my sexuality, my truth the less concerned I am about what other people may think or are thinking about me. Those who care about you always will, if your being bisexual affects their views of you, these are not people you want in your life. As a counselor/therapist I have had clients tell me that they are concerned how others and more specifically God would judge them. I tell them " Im thinking God is much more concerned about how we are acting in front of closed doors, and so long as it is consensual, not who we are sleeping with behind them"