Female

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m KayEm. I am Bisexual.

I am an American Sign Language interpreter with a bachelor's degree in linguistics. I love animals and have 2 dogs and 2 cats. I also love working with children, particularly regarding education which is why I would like to pursue a master's in education and start my own non-profit focusing on literacy. My husband and I hope to have children of our own, but in the meantime our pets, nieces and nephews keep us happy and busy. I am also a writer of creative non-fiction and poetry and since graduating December 2014 am working on my blog.

What being bisexual means to me

Being bisexual means that I am attracted to someone on an emotionally and/or physically intimate level regardless of the person's gender identification. It means that although I am married to a man, I am still attracted to both men and women although I do on act on it as part of the framework of our relationship (we are monogamous). Being bisexual is recognizing that sexuality is not binary, but on a continuum.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

We are real and we only have to pick when we want to. It's not a phase. It's a feeling.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

People assuming I'm straight because I'm a female married to a man. People saying (about bisexuals), "Just pick one." or "It's just a phase." or "Bisexuals just like to have sex a lot." or "Bisexuals are greedy."

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

Being open to the idea that not only is my sexuality on a continuum, but so are relationships. There are different ideas of relationships and different kinds of love. I love that I don't have to shut someone out because they are society's definition of fill-in-the-blank.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

The people I have chosen to tell have been great. They've been open and even asked questions. I have not told everyone because I am afraid of the judgement that comes from both gay and straight people. If I was in a relationship with a woman, I would still identify as bisexual just as I do in my relationship with a man.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Don't feel that you have to do anything. You don't have to decide now or if you do you can change your mind later. This is your journey, your experience.
If you think you might be bi then you are already doing what I would recommend: research. There are tons of books out there that can help. One that helped me (though it might be outdated) is called "Free Your Mind: The Book for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth and Their Allies" Find groups in your area, starting with your local Stonewall. Check events pages for get togethers and/or support groups.

Tell the people who are most important to you so that you can share your honest self. And if you do choose to tell everyone, then that is what is right for you. Just remember, if someone tries to tell you you're wrong or doesn't really listen, please don't take it to heart. Continue to follow your heart. You're the only one that knows it.

Finally, know that we are here for you no matter what so don't forget to reach out to your community if you should need us. You are not alone. We are many in number no matter what the world would have you believe.

Good luck. Finding yourself is the best journey you will ever undertake.