Male

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Norman. I am Bisexual.

Work as an office manager outside of DC. Grew up in Silver Spring MD, also outside of Washington, DC. Am a life-long Lutheran and regular church goer. As far as hobbies go who enjoys working with databases/maps (also get to do this at work :) ) , reading about history and commercial aviation. At Frostburg State University in Western Maryland, where I was the first "out" member of my co-ed service fraternity Alpha Phi Omega (as gay not bisexual). I started as geography major and then switched over to accounting which I graduated with a B.S. in, then got a graduate certificate in database systems. Personality wise I am fairly introverted, straight-laced and analytical (on the Myers-Briggs I consistently come out as an INTP). I have also been diagnosed as bipolar.

What being bisexual means to me

Means that I get crushes on men and women and am also sexually drawn to men and women.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

That we can have very "old-fashioned" sexual mores (let's hope with out the patriarchal double standards)

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I had longings for men in elementary school (non sexual) but then really was fascinated by girls in middle school and went though a very confusing time in high school where I was romantically and sexually interested in a female friend of mine while still be very sexually interested in one guy a grade ahead. After going to college and falling in love with a straight friend of mine I decided I was gay but then when I was in my late 20s started having erotic dreams about female friends of mine. Then I went to some ex-gay programs (which I found helpful for my mental health/spiritual more than any sexual orientation change).

For a while I thought about calling myself queer (a term I always liked in it's mid-century sense or current usage) but thought that bisexual was more descriptive.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

My shifts in orientation some confusion and the ability to awkward/make a fool of myself around about both attractive men and women.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

The ability to appreciate male and female beauty.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Some haven't been very accepting since I identified as gay in college, but most others including family are okay with it.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

I don't have very much figured out but I would say focus on the person you fall in love with and consider what you label yourself second.

Also don't let anyone tell you you should be a certain way or do a certain thing because you are bisexual or any other way you may identify.