United States

Hi, I‘m james. I am Bisexual.

Who am I? . . . I’m Spider-Man! Wait, no, that was a movie! Hi my name is James and I am 21 and I am probably the most prideful bisexual you will ever meet! I would describe myself as stable. I enjoy making people laugh. I am intelligent and can carry on meaningful conversations. As a person I like to think of myself as confident but not a ****. I’m a very humble man. I understand that there’s a time to give and be loving and understanding. I also believe in standing up for what I believe and not being walked on. I’m always there for my friends and loved ones. I don’t run from adversity. I care what people think of me because I believe in being the best man I can be. I want people who come across me to think “hey what a cool guy”. It’s not about attention for me. It’s about the importance of ones own honor and respect for those around him. That's why I am rarely a jerk to people and I try to like everyone and I do and I never judge and always forgive GOALS: Looking to become a personal trainer just started my certification. I really want to find a woman or guy to love and share in the beauty that is life. ( a workout buddy would be great if nothing else lol) I also want to continue to help those around me I care for to achieve their goals. WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT: I was raised by my wonderful parents. Watched them get hurt many times, especially my mom. Made me believe how important it is to treat people right. my mother also taught me how to have inner strength and not to get walked on. I was adopted at 60 days old. I’m covered in brown skin and biness and it’s made me understand just how fickle society is. I’m a TRUE heavy Taylor swift fan. I’ve had to overcome some crappy things in life she helped me get through and in doing so it’s made me a much stronger man. Music: As I’ve already stated I’m a huge Taylor Swift fan. Taylor swift is my definition of music there isn't one song of hers I don't absolutely love or know I love all music though I’m very passionate about music. I enjoy helping others more than anything else. I would put everything I’m doing on hold if someone I know needed help with anything at all. I am incredibly honest and trustworthy. I have a great, maybe sarcastic, sense of humor...I LOVE food lol, walking at the beach at night, dancing, watching movies, some video games, working out, giving hugs, and basically having a blast! Relationship wise I feel there has to be mutual physical attraction for there to be good chemistry between two people. So being fit and having good looks are important, as well as sensuality and affection. . . . . . Having some similar interests helps! I don't want you to be perfect because I'm not perfect. I'm not rich, I'm not brilliant, I'm not movie star handsome. If you don't have at least one flaw I'd spend every moment of everyday wondering the heck is this person doing with me? So basically I am a normal bisexual person. I don’t have an amazing body or spectacular facial features. but I am me. I currently work for two news papers as a paper carrier and work in the restaurant industry, I have 6 college credits right now um i Love horror movies...only thing I'm not a huge fan of are comedies, and I hate to admit I'm a sucker for horrible cheesy romance flicks. Born and raised in Pinckneyville Illinois Baby! I love my blue jeans, simple t-shirts, basket ball shorts typical jock stuff :p if I love you, I do it with my whole heart. If you want to be in my life know I require attention, long for passion and the most important thing you need to know if you want to be in my life is one of my favorite things is singing my heart out in the car :D

What being bisexual means to me

I honestly don’t have an answer when i give my heart to someone i give it to them because of the way they make me feel not because they have a penis or vagina I wear my heart on my sleeve I don't just give it to my lovers I give it to friends and family plus i am bisexual so come on my loving pool is really wide
but I have been searching for that answer along with the lesson to this experience and I think I have finally found it believe me it wasn't easy I used to think to myself What could the lesson possibly be? Never to trust someone again? Not to trust my feelings? Or believe in love? because it's only for people who like one sex. and i decided I can’t do any of that. I refuse. I can, and will, move forward. I have to. Because I will not let someone else’s bad behavior define me, or my life. And I hope I will find real, lasting love. I know I deserve that. We all do. Bisexual or exclusive to one gender But at the moment I know I am not ready but It’s amazing how something like this can raise your confidence so high I have tremendously high bisexual pride but Here’s what I do know, my bisexuality has taught me that loving someone the way a Taylor swift song describes it is the greatest experience we’re granted as humans. It’s why we’re here.
I know far too many people who have settled for less – either because they haven’t had the opportunity to experience it themselves, don’t believe it exists, don’t want to be alone, or don’t want to risk getting hurt – and I wouldn’t change places with them. I wouldn’t miss great love for the world, (I probably would) even with the heart-wrenching pain I’ve felt in losing it with friends and if loving someone male or female or both! makes you stupid, I guess this sappy cliche loving cheesey line adoring romantic proud bisexual dork is man enough to admit I am a bisexual person who is in love with the idea of love whether it be with a man or woman I love love and it has duped me <3

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

what's in our partners pants shouldn't determine whether it's right or wrong to be in love with them they're called private parts for a reason private means who I date and what I do IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
( and people think people who like the same sex are pervs? people who have a problem with it are the ones whose minds are in the gutter or they play the religion card it's a sin blah blah blah you live your life and I will live mine if I go to hell what business of it is yours plus you aren't suppose to judge well than people will say I am their family/friend so it is my business actually it's not do we share a body and mind and soul? No, everyone who thinks being bi is a choice, I want you to choose to be bi right now. So go on prove your point about it being a choice. If being bi is a choice, then you can choose to not be bi afterward. So you don't have to worry about being stuck as someone you hate and refuse to understand out of everything in the world you could be doing right now you choose to hate on people who are gay/bi/trans being who you are isn't a sin LOVE (not lust) is never a sin you're their family/friend right? You claim to love them? Guess what I love you means that I accept you for the person that you are and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you--- just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even in the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down not just when you're fun to be with it means loving you even if you're bi/gay/trans. I love you means I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them--- asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. believe me, being bi/gay/trans is not a choice no one would choose to make life harder than it has to be no one would knowingly risk having their family and friends disown them no one would willingly risk getting tortured and bullied/ beat up/ possibly be murdered no one who passionately believes in the bible would knowingly risk going to hell and going against everything they believe in. if it was that simple don't you think they would do anything to avoid all of that? besides that true family and friends want you to be happy and don't tell you your feelings are wrong or you're disgusting or disowned they say I support you in whatever you decide stating the obvious unless it's drugs/murder but loving the same/both genders doesn't compare to that so you don't have to agree with it but you have to accept the fact it's not a choice well you don't have to do anything you don't want to but trust me when I say you will create unnecessary completely avoidable drama and risk losing them forever because it's not yours or anyone's to speculate if it's wrong and Seems like there's always someone who disapproves
They'll judge it like they know about me and you and the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do I'll fight their doubt and give you faith so don't you worry your pretty little mind People throw rocks at things that shine but they can't take what's ours, the stakes are high, the water's rough, but this love is ours)
anyone who has ever been in love knows love is untamed meaning has no bounds
( meaning gender is irrelevant ) love is a fierce force. love has no logic. love imprisons you. love enslaves you.
(all of those mean can't be controlled) and for those of you who say it's about the sex not love well your sex drive/ libido isn't really something you can control either nor can you control what/who turns you on what/who gives you an erection anymore than you can control who your parents are some things in this world we simply just don't get to choose deal with it! and another thing sexuality and love can be different things. I can be attracted to a woman sexually, but it doesn’t mean I want to be in love with a woman” “If I’m going to be with a man sexually, it doesn’t mean I’m gay we put these restraints and definitions on people, but it’s hard to define. Sometimes, I feel like earth/internet can feel like a middle-school playground populated by brats in ski masks who name-call and taunt with the fake bravery of the anonymous.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I knew I was attracted to both sexes when I was 5 years old I still remember my first guy crushes from back than in 1st grade their names were Michael Thornton, Zack Killian and Cody whose last name escapes me but moving on I would tell myself that I didn't like them and I was 5 so I didn't really have a justification I think I just told myself i admired them for being so cool and as I got older I would tell myself that I didn't like guys I just noticed if they looked good or not I felt like I was a freak because at the time I didn't know there were millions like me out there I thought I was the only one and I thought everyone would hate me if they knew and I thought I was going to hell well along came 8th grade and I told my bestfriend at the time Taylor Kelly over the phone that I thought this guy in school was hot and she was in shock not a bad kind of shock an omg no way laughy kind of shock and we got off the phone and I was freaking out that I told someone so I called her back laughing saying "lol really you thought that I was serious?? wow you're so gullible it's so easy to mess with you" and she seemed to have believed me so I felt safe again but then there was this openly gay kid named Matthew Kelly in my P.E class keep in mind I was 13 at this time and well in class he would always tell me who he thought the hot guys in our class were me being one of them and try to grab my manhood and always tell me I was gay and although I didn't really like him back and I would always say "dude I am straight" but he did become a friend and we talked on the phone after school and he would always tell me I was hot and I would be like " dude you're crazy " and laugh it off but one night we were talking on the phone and he started telling me what he wanted to do with me basically having phone sex with me and I played it off like I didn't like it but it aroused me so after that fast forwarding a little in the future while I was still in 8th grade and 13 years old me and a couple of friends went to the public pool me, Meagan and Taylor and meagan said she had something to tell us and we said what is it and she smiled and swam away and we chased her and begged for her to tell us and she swam away some more and we chased her some more and finally she told us she was bisexual and that was the first time I had heard that word and one of us asked her what that meant and she said it means she likes girls and guys and I said wow are you serious well I have something to tell you guys I am bisexual too and after that Taylor said she was bisexual also and we all screamed and were just super excited and started sharing our crushes that were of the same sex and weeks or a month went by and Taylor took it back but me and Meagan never took it back from that point on and from that point on I told everyone and anyone it was like I went on a date and broke the ice and once the ice was broken it was so easy to be open about who I was EXCEPT with my parents it's like everyone knew but them and my silbings I had nieces and nephews my age if that tells you how much older they're and how long they had been moved out but moving on everyone knew I told one of my nieces and well moving forward to 2 to 3 years later jumping from me being 13 to me being 16 my brother had texted me for some reason or another and my signature at the time was I love being bisexual it was a pride thing between me and my best friend at the time cassidy boyster and I would always remember to back space it if I texted someone that didn't know but that time I completely forgot so then two days later it's October so the night after my towns Mardi Gras was over I was laying in bed watching tv with my friend Tyler who was asleep who was also kind of sort of my boyfriend at the time my mom came in and said "hey I need to talk to you about something in the morning" and I said "okay" having a lot of thoughts about what it could be so anyway I wake up the next morning and watched Saturday morning cartoons and ate cereal and took a shower and brushed my teeth and got dressed in my room and after came out into the living room and sat down and said " what did you need to talk about mom" she said " it has something to do with a text it was sent in a text and I was like " huh I have no idea what you're talking about?" and she said something you sent to your brother" and so I pulled my phone out and reread all of the messages and it took me a moment to figure out I had forgiven to erase my signature and so at this point my heart is beating 100 miles a minute and she said " are you gay? " and at this point I'm shaking and my eyes are becoming super watery and trying with everything I have to fight the tears and I roll my eyes and "say no mom I'm not gay I'm bisexual it means I like guys and girls" and she looked shocked and seeing her face like that kind of hurt my heart and I said " but I plan on marrying a girl because I want kids and I have always had this white picket fence fantasy about having a wife and kids" and I went on saying "BUT I will always have feelings for guys I find them attractive and she asked me if I had done stuff with a guy before and I said yes and she said "here?" and I said "yeah why do you think guy friends stay the night all the time" and I laughed and said i was joking I said "I don't want every guy I see mom" and at this point I said "so how are you feeling about this" terrified of the answer and said "you're still Jimmy you're still my son and I love you" and I hugged her and said "I was so scared you would hate me" and then she told me her brother Allen was gay and I said "no way" and she said "yeah he has a gay flag in his window" and I said "no he doesn't" because I had walked past his house a lot because he lived right across the street from us and I saw it was there and was like "wow" and a couple days went by and i said did you tell dad and said yes and I said what did he say and she said he doesn't care as long as you're happy and after that I began to bring boyfriends around and one time my dad saw my boyfriend kiss me and make me dinner and he said "aw wow he really loves you" with a smile on his face and it made my jaw drop figuratively speaking and from that point on everyone I had every came into contact knew and I declared it on MySpace and it almost seemed like my dad cared less than my mom

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

I think the toughest thing about being bisexual is we have the ability to fall in love with anyone where as others can't and sometimes that can be scary or dangerous to us because our chances of heartbreak are doubled our dating pool is doubled and sometimes we struggle with the choice of which sex we want to be with long term and weigh the pros and cons of being with one specific gender forever ( if the bisexual believes in monogamy that is ) and sometimes we obsess over which gender we like more one day we are sure we like guys more than we like girls and the next day we are like no I like girls more than guys and then we are like actually no I like them both equally so I think the toughest thing about being bisexual is just the same as any other sexual orientation finding love

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

the best part about being bisexual is for me It’s not about finding a girl to lose yourself in, it’s about meeting someone ANYONE not just male and not just female to find yourself in. When you connect with someone special gender doesn't sway you or hold you back from seeing this person in a new light this person helps you find the best in yourself. In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in the each other; you both grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each other’s growth and you may be asking yourself " everyone can do that straight, gay or whatever" but the thing is bisexual relationships are the complete opposite of any other kind of relationship, being with a man and being with a woman is a completely different experience and you might be thinking
" it's the same with straight relationships because no girl is the same as any other girl or I'm gay and I dated a girl/girls before I accepted it so I have experienced both " no you haven't the thing with that is you could never fully and truly experience it because you didn't really having feelings for them you know what I mean? Okay what I am saying is even if we are with the opposite gender and they know we are bisexual they have twice as many people to be jealous of something straights or gays will never experience and we also get two of everything we get two virginity's, we get two first kisses, we get two first loves and they actually mean something to us in a deep way whereas with people who are exclusive with one gender may have had a first kiss with a gender they later discovered they weren't attracted to it doesn't mean anything to them and we also get
" stereotypical " gender roles all mixed up for example: us bisexuals may end up being with a manly jock guy when we ourselves are that type of guy or we are with a girl and we are a guy but we are more of a girly type of guy but dating a girly GIRL and straight relationships usually follow the "gender role" and that's the best part about being bisexual we don't fit into any mold we have so many choices and so many different paths we can take with our lives the best thing about being bisexual? well I think Hannah Montana says it best
" you get the best of both worlds mix it all together oh yeah it's so much better cause you know you got the best of both worlds"

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Well If I am speaking honestly everyone in my life who I have told which is every person I have ever met hasn't had a problem with my being bisexual and they accept me right away as if I were straight EXCEPT one person in my life her name is Jessica Ross and she is/was really religious all throughout highschool and we fought about it all the time but there is one time in particular that I remember most well long story short we got into a fight about bisexuality and how long I have known and how it's a choice and at this point in time I had just graduated high school and I didn't get a Facebook until I graduated so I posted this super long rant on Facebook " you have no idea what It's like to have feelings you never wanted or asked for. Some may think It's a choice but how can a feeling be a choice? Examples: when you touch a hot pan do you have a choice but to FEEL pain or when you drink something cold and you FEEL the pain on your teeth can you CHOSE not to feel it? No! you don't have a choice but to FEEL It's how we were made.
what if it happens to be a so called sin? which I highly doubt god would punish someone for loving another human being when god is love than that's between me and god and personally for me I'd rather go to hell than be told if I'm bi who i am I'm not allowed into heaven and well that's okay I wouldn't want to be somewhere where I'm not wanted and can't be myself in the first place"
and it got a lot of likes and people commented on it and said if you weren't bisexual you wouldn't be jimmy anymore and Jessica saw the post and the comments and she said
" Jimmy, I am so sorry I made you feel this way, I really wasn't trying to, I don't care who you marry, I tease you to much because I have known you for so long and I won't tease you anymore. I just want you to be happy. I don't understand bisexuals because I am not one, but they are right, you just wouldn't be you if you weren't bi..I will always love you just the way you are as you have loved me for my flaws. Again, I am sorry I hurt you. I believe you about the pain gay boys go through, it just took awhile for it to sink in. Stay You. Love- Grace. "

She signed it grace because we both loved the show will & grace and we called each other will and grace and ever since then she has been a huge supporter and that is the only time/person that has had an issue with me being bisexual and I forgave her because I always see the best in people so it's easy to pull one over on me but if he/she/friends/family wants to use that to hurt my open, loving, beautiful heart for their own selfish gain – well then they're the idiot. Not me. love makes you dumb Ok, maybe not stupid. But really, really vulnerable. I have seen it time and time again where someone stays in a relationship with a friend/parent/family member for no other reason than because they love that person and they forget about their self worth When they claim they care about you and love you you give them your trust which means you're basically giving them your heart saying: “This is now yours – I’m trusting that you won’t do anything intentional to break it.”
It’s then their responsibility to treat it with care. Like my favorite Spiderman quote “With great power comes great responsibility.”You expect that person to now protect you, and your heart. And, to care enough about you and your feelings to let you know if they no longer want that responsibility. I do agree that most of our pain comes from expecting too much, but I don’t believe you can or should expect less than that. When someone has been honored to hold your heart – it’s a gift.
When someone uses that gift to hurt you it's not right and you shouldn't just let it slide, you need to take a stand! you don't have to be a jerk about it just do certain things like print out statics and research about how we are born this way and tape them to the fridge if you live with your parents and when it comes to a friend or other family member tape it to their locker or car window don't do this forever just do it until you feel you have gotten your point across and if they refuse to read it or get upset with you for doing that then at least you tried

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

If you come out to someone as bisexual they're suppose to support you that's their obligation as a friend/parent/family member they're supposed to be the one who protects you from getting hurt, not be the one who's hurting you. They're supposed to be the one to make you laugh and forget your troubles, not be the one who's making more for you to stress about. They're supposed to be the one who provides you with attention when you need someone, not be the one who neglects you. They're supposed to be the one who's able to meet your simple expectations with ease, not be the one who disappoints you when you depend on them i just believe that if someone honestly wants a place in your life, they will try to be understanding and open and they will make it happen no matter what your sexual orientation is You shouldn't have to push someone to WANT a place in your life, it's like I want your love and attention by your choice not by my force because in the end you're only cheating yourself. If they can't show you they want a place in your life just because of genitals well don't try to push yourself on them but at the same time don't wait around until they have figured out that its okay to be bisexual (who you are) If they're your friend/parent/family member they obviously know all you need is their love. Them to show they care. Their time. And most importantly just for them to be there and if they can't do those things then do you both a favor and save you both a lot of heartache and stay away because you're no ones doormat, and no one's part-time, half-time, down-time or screw around time but you should always forgive but this is the thing: When you hit 18 everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who learn and grow, and find themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are stuck in their ways and closed minded views or people who are just jerks for no reason other then they can be and with all their might. They’ve stayed in that HATE state of mind , because they’re too scared to get another point of view. they do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated. You have to stop every once in a while and ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?” Now is MY time. I need to start walking closely with people i love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. You've got to tell yourself &amp;quot; I don't want to be stuck in the past, but i don’t want to fast-forward myself into a future i haven’t yet earned. I want to give today all the love and intensity and courage i can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path. I want to stop being unhappy with myself and feel like I am a beautiful person. I want to stop wishing I looked like someone else, someone who is more attractive and someone who is straight you just have to tell yourself I am loved and I am cared&amp;quot; (although sometimes it feels you're utterly alone) You need to stop trying to get attention from people who don't matter. Don't just WISH you could stop hating your body, stop hating your face, stop hating your personality, stop hating your sexuality, stop hating who you're. Take steps to make it happen! You have to think &amp;quot;I want to start embracing my quirks and finally realize they are what make me me&amp;quot; because your future and your potential is limitless you just have to tell yourself my happiness will not depend on others anymore and it's pretty amazing.