Male

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Damian. I am Bisexual.

Hey, bi community! I was born in New York City, but I call South Florida home. What I can say about me is that I believe that I am an emotionally intelligent, passionate, and affectionate person. However, I have always been a shy, and mostly quiet, person growing up with pretty low self esteem. This wasn't something that I talked about with anyone, but as I reflect on my past, it was definitely something that affected me as I grew up. What helped me get through it was focusing on school, and then eventually starting my career and living on my own. I like to travel, because it's so much more interesting to learn about people and foreign places when you actually visit them! I'm a health nut, a plant-based eater (a vegan most of the time); I stay as fit as I can be and strive for better. Over the past few years, my fitness, my diet, and learning more about myself have helped me slowly become more comfortable with myself like never before.

What being bisexual means to me

For me, accepting that I'm bisexual partly means that I no longer need to worry about what or who society expects me to be. Realizing and embracing my bisexuality means that I don't have to feel the social pressure from what is portrayed as masculinity which has always made me feel like I was just lacking something. Being bi...I feel that I am more aware - compared to my younger self - of my compassion when it comes to treating people as human beings. If that compassion (in relationships, for example) comes off as challenging gender norms, or masculinity, so be it. I guess what I'm saying is that being bi means that I am learning to be comfortable being myself.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

Bisexuals are not confused, despicable, greedy, untrustworthy people simply due to our sexuality. We are human beings first, like everyone else. I believe that bad, disloyal, dishonest people can exist anywhere, regardless of sexuality.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

For as long as I can remember, I have been attracted to women. At some point at a very young age, and at several points throughout life, I thought that I might be gay. I felt that I suppressed a part of me for a long time due to confusion, and shame, for what I have been feeling for so long. As I improved my fitness and my diet, and finally began to really feel good about myself for the first time, it hit me one day after coming home from the gym. I had to vocalize it to myself that I am attracted to BOTH women and men....and that is ok, because I must be bi! Why was I feeling so guilty, or ashamed, or deceitful for so long?? Life is too short to hold on to some ridiculous worry that is all in my head! I just needed to accept myself. When I did that, things in life, past and present, started to fall into place. What a relief! At this point, I believe that I am a hetero-romantic bisexual; still exploring and learning about my sexuality and what it means to me.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The toughest thing about being bi, so far, is anticipating very negative reactions from family members that still don't know. This is a work in progress.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

The best thing about being bi is feeling comfortable with myself, and sharing that energy with someone who can mirror that feeling.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My older brother has been nothing but supportive. My close friends are the same. Some friends have even thanked me for trusting them so much to share such a personal part of my life with them. My mother had a negative reaction, but she eventually reached a point where she acknowledged that my life is my life. My father, unfortunately, had a very very negative reaction and has not spoken to me since I came out to him. We'll see what happens in the future.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Learn about yourself, learn about your sexuality; then accept yourself completely. As long as you are taking care of yourself and not hurting or lying to others, no one can make you feel inferior, abnormal, or guilty for who you are unless you let them. Accept yourself.