Male

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Carl. I am Bisexual.

I was born and grew up in Sweden, but have lived in the U.S. the past 30 years. The past two decades my main focus has been bringing up my two sons. They are off in college now, so now I must figure out what I want to do when I grow up. Part of that will involve relocating from Texas where we have been the past 9 years. Probably back to Colorado where I went to grad school and where my boys were born. I like spending time in nature, preferably by an ocean or in mountains. Work used to be teaching, but more recently health insurance project management. My friends and partners are important to me, and I thrive in social settings.

What being bisexual means to me

At this point in life being bi is easy and liberating. While most of my romantic interests have always been women, I have had occasional male parters going back to my teens. The attraction to women and to men do not feel the same to me. My analogy is to coffee and tea. Most of the time I am a coffee drinker, but now and then I feel like tea. They are both hot beverages with caffeine, but they evoke different emotions and suit different moods.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

That we are not particularly complicated, and certainly not confused. Being bi is just the way some people are born. It feels as natural as I imagine being heterosexual feels.

Being bi can be a lot of fun. There is a wide variety of people you may be attracted, and you can switch between flirting with different types of humans.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

It was always clear to me that I was attracted to women (well to girls initially). They interest me in multiple ways, including visually; I look at women a lot. The attraction to men is much more dependent on interaction. It came as a surprise to me in my teens when a boy approached me, and I reacted positively. This is still true 40 years later; I need a male partner to express interest/come on to me.
I was married to a woman, and most of my relationships are with women.
Today I am in the polyamorous community. I date 2 or 3 female partners (depending on definitions), and one male partner casually.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

It really doesn't have any "tough" aspects to it. My family and friends are open minded and accepting.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

Variety, having different kinds of experiences, feeling more than one kind of attraction! I also tell myself that it helps me understand different kinds of people; I can relate to both straigh and gay people I meet. In a way it is like what I gain from being an immigrant. It makes it easier to have empathy with folks from different backgrounds.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

I am lucky. Have not had any negative reactions that I can recall.