Hi, I‘m Angela. I am Bisexual. I always describe myself first and foremost as a writer, but I am also a graduate student from Ohio who lives in Washington, DC. I want to work one day in economic development and social welfare policy, but for right now I'm busy being a full-time student. I am a MAJOR Whovian and Brooklyn 99 fan. I'm also terrible at blues dancing but keep doing it anyway because it makes me happy.
What being bisexual means to meI am a two-time sexual assault survivor at the hands of men, so I am grateful that being bi means that I have options. I can date people who are like me and people who are different from me, and I can choose to date one group of people over another for a while if it makes me feel safer. One thing I never understood about my straight female friends was when they said things like, "Yeah, men suck but there's nothing you can do about it. You're going to end up with one one day." I never understood that feeling of "nothing you can do about it", both from a social justice perspective but also from the perspective of being "stuck" dating one gender. I am not stuck with anyone I don't want to be, and it is amazing.
What I would like the world to know about bisexuals1. We exist!
2. I will not have a threesome with you and your partner! Seriously. That's not something I'm into.
3. Bi does not necessarily mean poly. I don't need to date two people at one time to be happy or feel "authentic."
What was your path to a bisexual identity?I did not realize that I was a bi until my senior year of college. Growing up, I knew early on that I was attracted to men and just assumed that made me straight. In hindsight, it was pretty obvious that I was attracted to women as well-- from Counselor Troi on Star Trek to a gorgeous redhead on my speech team.
What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?Stigma both inside and outside of the LGBTQIA* community. The first time I heard the word "bisexual" used, it was by a gay friend in college who was telling me that it wasn't real. That sucks.
What is the best thing about being bisexual?I feel truly like myself for the first time in my life. Realizing that I am bi has helped me to piece together my early life and is helping me to start trying to understand my own gender expression better. I've always felt a little bit more masculine than I was comfortable with, but my bi friends have helped me to embrace that side of myself instead of hiding from it. At 22, I'm finally in touch with myself.
How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?I am not yet out to some of my family, although I suspect they will be less-than-thrilled but overall supportive.
My boyfriend reacted first with a pretty typical but misguided concern-- that I wanted to date someone else as well. Since then, though, its been pretty funny. Especially when we both comment on how attractive a woman is at the same time.
My friends and my little sister were absolutely unsurprised. They'd suspected it for years despite me only dating men.
What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?You have some amazing company! From Oscar Wilde to David Bowie to Rosa Dias/Stephanie Beatriz, chances are you look up to someone who is bi like you.