Female

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Melissa. I am Bisexual.

Hello there! I'm a bit of a mixed bag so bear with me. I'm fortunate enough to have lived in coastal Southern California my entire life, though I've recently started traveling abroad. I got married earlier this year, and my husband and I have an open marriage. We've been together for nine years now and it's worked for us for most of that time. I love the craft cocktail and foodie scene in San Diego, as well as the hiking and numerous outdoor activities this city offers. I'm a graphic designer who started out as a fine artist. However, now I try to mix the two.

What being bisexual means to me

Gender doesn't really matter to me. But I've called myself bi for almost two decades now, and it's the term I'm most comfortable with.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

We're here. We're not confused. No, it doesn't automatically mean we want to be in threesomes.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

Looking back, it's quite obvious. I had crushes as much on the female Disney characters as much as I did the male Disney characters, and I would get jealous when they were together. Hindsight and all that. However, I didn't really recognize this jealousy for what it was until I was 15 and realized I was upset two of my friends would hang out without me was because I wanted to be with one of the two girls. After that, I told a few people, but I've mostly kept it low key. When it comes up, I'll make the statement that I'm bi. I haven't really come out to my family as bi, but it's stated on my social media accounts were anyone to look. I've discussed it with my sister and I know there's no secrets in my family, so they know. But it's just not talked about.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Having to come out, over and over and over again. Being assumed that I'm straight.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

Since I'm in an open relationship with my husband, talking about women we find attractive together.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My sister, my husband, my friends all know and don't care. It comes up from time to time, but that's it. My family knows but never talks about it, so it's like an open secret. Part of it, is that my family, save my step-dad, are conservative regarding sex. They still love me, they don't judge too hard, but at the same time, I don't know how to start talking about it in front of them.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Take your time figuring you out. There's no rush.