Male

Bisexual

India



Hi, I‘m Navdeep. I am Bisexual.

I am a videographer and communication researcher based in India. You can read more about who I believe I am in the following sections, but if I am to say something that defines me at this moment, it is that I would like to start a family with a person of either gender. I have started a collective support group fo bi people in Delhi and a small set of circulating resources (books articles etc) for bi people. In my work I am creating content around making schools more inclusive and safe for lgbtqi kids and youth.

What being bisexual means to me

Being bi is something integral and dear to me. It has given me some of the most beautiful experiences of my life so far and helped me grow as a person once I was able to accept it as a part of me that I don't hate, but embrace. I believe I am able to be so much more because of my desire for multiple genders because each one illuminates a different part of my being. I have known and felt things because of being bisexual that I would have been shut out of had I not been.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

We fear what we do not know. Get to know a bi person, and know us for who we are rather than for stereotypes, caricatures, preconceived notions. That is the best way to know that there is as much diversity among bi people as there is among straight and gay people. There is no one thing that can be said to be universally true for bi people, except that we recognize our attraction to different genders - and I think because of our peculiar situation, we tend to celebrate our differences and diversity.
We are monogamous and polyamorous, married, dating and single, celibate and sexually active, of diverse racial, class and national origins, and so on.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I have been aware of my bisexual desires since I was around 6 years old. But I only found a name for it when I was around 15. Even after that it was a long period of 11 years before I was able to come to terms with it.
The rest of it is quite personal, so I can share that with someone in private if they would like to hear.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

I don't like the insecurity that it brings. In my experience it has caused insecurity both in myself and the people in my life who are dear to me. I was born male and continue to present as a cis man. Bisexuality also causes me insecurity in terms of my own notions about my masculinity vis a vis others'. But the more comfortable I get with it the more these things recede into the background, I hope.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

I like that it makes me able to be - to a certain extent - gender blind. While I am able to and do appreciate and desire the very particular traits that make cis/trans men and cis/trans women appeal to me, I am also able to take people as people. Many, including myself, regard people of their own age and gender as threats or rivals, but I am also able to see beyond that (perhaps because they could be a potential companion of any sort? I don't know). I am able to be empathetic and relate to people across genders and that is what I like. I am also able to identify at different moments with people of different orientations - something that is quite difficult to do otherwise and which I am happy about.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My family knows about it. They have not cut me off in any way because of it which is a huge privilege and blessing. My parents I believe vacillate between denial and acceptance - it is clearly a process for them as well, something that is often easy to forget. I am vocal about my bisexuality, accepting which is not easy in a society like India, but they do now - the extended family knows too and nobody has ostracised me or made me feel bad about it in any way.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Hang in there. Do not doubt yourself. It is okay to be and to feel exactly as you do - you may not have always identified as bi and you may not always remain bi. However many do remain bisexual once they have found that this identity fits them best, so, according to a quote I like, it is not a fence. It is not a place in between heterosexuality and homosexuality. It is a place in its own right.