United States

Hi, I‘m Felicia. I am Bisexual.

I am a black woman and mother of two beautiful daughters. I currently live in Seattle, Wa. I currently work as a home health nurse with a very good insurance company. I have a bachelors degree in Accounting. I am 10 classes away from getting my BSN, which I have been very slow about doing. I am swamped in student loan debt; which makes it harder to advance ones career and/or life. I am impassioned and growing ever more closely to becoming an entrepreneur. I just recently took a class for medical coding. I love camping and being out in nature. I probably should say, I am more into “glamping.” I have almost hoards of camping stuff that leads more to leisure style camping. I however do want to one day hike the PCT. Lastly, I am originally from Ohio. Life in a very red state is very different. I currently live in a decidedly blue state....there is a world of difference. I could never go back. Who knew?

What being bisexual means to me

Bisexuality to me means being physically, romantically, and sexually attracted to both men and women. Most of my younger years were spent mostly being perceived as heterosexual. Even I thought I was heterosexual because of my attraction to men/boys at the time. In my early 20’s is when I noticed that I had an attraction to women the whole time. And thus began opening up that part of my sexuality and my life. It is still very scary in a way. I am married to a woman and EVERYONE assumes I am gay. They are always surprised to learn that I am not gay. They don’t truly understand how I can actually be bisexual. This term is limited, but the one that suites me best. I am attracted to the same and opposite gender, for one or all of the reasons of physically, romantically, sexually, or just emotionally.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

I would like the world to know that I am here. That there is nothing that needs to change about me. That there is nothing wrong with me. Just because it may be hard to articulate your sexuality in actual words and terms does not mean that it should be dismissed. That I would like to not have to explain what bisexuality means or what it means to me in the way I navigate the world. That I would like to not “feel” unsafe sharing that about me. It really pains me and makes me feel unauthentic when I cannot share part of my basic make up. I also don’t like men and women equally. There is no 50/50 attraction. It is more than that and way deeper. I am delving into their humanity, not just their private sexual organs.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I knew that I like girls and boys around the 6th grade. But because I liked boys, I just thought that my attraction to some girls was about the fact that we were soulmate type best friends. I did not understand that what I was finding out was that some of them I was attracted to them emotionally, romantically speaking, and etc. At the time I was not attracted to them sexually. Now for boys at that time, I was attracted to them sexually and emotionally, but not truly romantically. I think bisexuality was more confusing for me. I felt that it was easier to be on the extremes....either gay or straight. I didn’t know that there was a middle ground, so to speak at this time. Remember I was only about 11-12 years old. I had always been accused of liking girls and being gay because I was seeking out boyfriends like some of the other girls by my family. I didn’t truly know that I was bisexual until my early 20’s when I first was kissed by one of the most beautiful black women I had ever seen and how she desired me. She was also bisexual. She helped me realize that there is no look to what bisexual or lesbian looks like. That was the beginning of my exploration and acceptance of my sexual identity. I also felt relief that I finally knew who I was and that there was a term for it. I embraced it, but it also scared me at the same time. Because NOW this is a new me that I hadn’t gotten to know. I think every person that isn’t heterosexual should have someone to guide them through this and show them that they are natural.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Basically that there is no one in our families and particulars communities to help guide people who are discovering their sexuality into making them immediately feel and know that they are normal.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

Everything. I get to be attracted to anyone that I am attracted to and returns that feeling/emotion to me without serious consequence to my own psyche. I get to love and relish in the deliciousness about women that I find utterly wonderful. To know that my attraction goes deeper than a person's genital region.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My mother just told me it would be hard, but I’d be okay. My brothers don’t necessarily like it. A lot of people believe that I am a lesbian. There are times when I just leave it be, but at others I tell them I am not a lesbian, that I am bi.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

To seek out someone that is “actually” bi and find out how they deal and overcome issues surrounding it.