United States

Hi, I‘m Jen. I am Bisexual.

Hi! I'm Jen - consulting professional astrologer, energetic healer/intuitive, cacao ceremonialist, YouTuber, and musician. I've been blessed to build an ever-budding holistic coaching and healing career in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, surrounded by an incredibly kind, supportive, and ever-evolving community in the Marquette area. Growing up Catholic, I was taught that it was wrong for people of the same gender to be together because it was against my faith, and because "the parts don't go there". Needless to say, after a profound awakening in my late teens and even more layers of awakening that have happened since, I've come to the solid realization that that simply isn't true. I'm only recently understanding and embracing my bisexual orientation, even feeling truly blessed for it, because of the diversity of experiencing the profound beauty in people, period. I'm a former music teacher and percussion performer who's working on integrating more music into my current career, but in a different, more free-flowing and improvisational way. And I couldn't be more excited to embark on a new career endeavor within what I'm already doing through my current business - officiating weddings for people of all beliefs, backgrounds, and sexual orientations! I love nature, and consider myself to be an eclectic solitary Druid (Celtic Pagan traditions). The woods will forever hold a special place in my heart, and I camp, hike, and commune with nature with the greatest of reverence for the gifts of healing, grounding, and peace that the wild world provides. Staying physically active keeps me sane and focused, with plenty of time spent between the gym and the yoga mat :) I'm also passionate about animals (my family has had two crazy, lovable, and smart as heck Cairn Terriers!), cooking and baking gluten-free and vegan food alternatives that are totally delicious, and doing whatever I can to make the world a better place. Working with people one-on-one to provide a safe space for healing and rejuvenation, along with facilitating group healing experiences, brings the greatest joy and satisfaction I could hope for. As I move further into finding my voice as a bisexual woman, I hope to be a more vocal advocate, to provide a safe space for other bi people (and all in the GLBTQ community), and to dissolve myths around bisexuality that keep us from having a more cohesive, supportive network in our own communities and beyond.

What being bisexual means to me

To me, being bisexual means flowing with what feels right, in my heart, intuition, and all parts of self, in the moment. I've dated men, but cried myself to sleep over women I was head over heels for. It means not fighting the flow of what I'm feeling in trying to put myself in one defined box of "straight" or "gay," as so many of us seem to experience in our lives. I've realized how natural feeling attraction for multiple genders is for me, and though I am working through past conditioning of the "Pick a side!" cries and mindset, realizing that I stand at the threshold between those worlds and move fluidly between them...and that that's perfectly normal, legitimate, and okay. It's so refreshing to arrive at a place where I can say, "How incredible is it that I get to feel so many things, to experience the beauty of people and this life in this way," through this variety of experience and emotions and attractions. It means that I'm drawn to who I'm drawn to, and that I love who I love, regardless of labels or personal gender identification. It's all about the person, the essence and entirety of the person, that draws me. (For the record, I'm very monogamous and deeply committed in relationships, but am very supportive of people who identify as poly.)

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

We're not confused. We love who we love. It's about the essence of a person, not their gender. It's about the *right* connection, with whoever it happens to be with. I can just as easily love a woman as a man, and vice versa. And all of those feelings are just as intense and legitimate - there is no "greater love" capacity in that space. And not all of us are poly - I'm deeply monogamous in relationships, but also respect those who have different natural tendencies. Having said that, the stereotypes of "Bi people will just cheat on you," or "You're not really gay," or silly things like that are quite immature, and very damaging and unfair. Get to know the person without judging based on preconceived notions of bisexuality, please! :) It's very hard to feel like you don't belong in one realm or the other - after all, don't we all need and deserve a certain sense of belonging for well-being? That being said, it's also very cool to "walk between the worlds," to see and feel the beauty all around you in this way. I have deep honor and respect for all people and beings, and really see human beauty with this certain reverence and awe.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I was attracted to men from a very early age (part fluidity, I think, and part heteronormative conditioning). Late in my teen years, I had a massive and terrifying epiphany that I was attracted to women...while attending Catholic mass, no less! I spent the next many years believing I was only attracted to women, until I fell in love with a male best friend. And after that, I slowly began integrating the realization that maybe, just maybe, I was attracted to men and women...and what a liberating epiphany!

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Fear of being stereotyped by the straight or GLBTQ community (more fear on the GLBTQ side, sadly) should I try to reach out and connect with gay or bi people. Knowing that if I were to come out as bi to my family, that they would tell my I'm confused "again," or discriminate (again) for religious reasons. I was able to more or less hide behind the cover of straight relationships for many years, but it becomes difficult to define yourself as something that you're not when you fully come to the realization of who and what you are. There's also a fear of connecting with lesbians who might be looking for a partner, since I've heard so much about how bi women are judged for not being "really gay" or people only being accepting of gay-identifying partners.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

The diversity of feelings and experience, and of seeing the beauty in so many people in ways that are apparently really unique (though maybe not as unique as you would think, given new studies about sexual orientation identification that are emerging). I've always lived a life "on the cusp" in some ways, bridging the gap between what you might call "old ideas" and "new ideas". It's a challenge and an honor to feel defined yet undefinable, but so very liberating just to flow with what feels right.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

All my friends that I have come out to so far have been amazingly kind, supportive, and non-judgmental. That being said, I haven't attempted to connect more deeply with the GLBTQ community in my area because of fear of being shut out, and because I feel that many aspects of gay culture are not matches for my personality and how I live my life.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

All of your feelings are valid, and if you swing between feeling attracted to men and women, chances are you are not confused - you're probably bi! And that's a beautiful thing. :) Honor and explore your feelings; connect with people you know will love and support you; find others who identify as bi who can support you as you begin to understand this aspect of yourself more fully. There's no rush to tell the world about who you are until you're ready, but remember this: self-expression is your right, and your voice is as valid as anyone else who may or may not "disagree" with your "lifestyle" (sexual orientation is not a lifestyle, by the way - it's biological, and a sacred part of who you are that can't be changed). Give yourself the love and kindness you deserve, seek support, and know that you really are blessed to live a life full of such diversity of feeling and experience! Embrace it.