Male

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Evan. I am Bisexual.

I have known I am bi for most of my life, but am just now starting to come out. I have only had relationships with members of the opposite sex all my life, but I am ready to explore what has always been a part of my identity.

What being bisexual means to me

It means I am attracted to PEOPLE. Men and women. Not all men and all women: like everyone, I have my “types” that I am attracted to, but it does not depend on that person’s sex.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

I am not “on my way to being gay.” If I end up in a relationship with a man, I have not “become gay.” If I end up in a relationship with a woman again, I have not “gone back to being straight.” Orientation cannot be changed. I have never been gay, and I have also never been straight. I have always been bi, even though I have never been with a man—yet.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

A lot of denial for a long, long time. Finally decided to accept myself for who I am and what I am.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Frankly, the assumption from gay friends that I am “really” gay and just afraid to admit it, or people telling me that I should “just choose one or the other.” That is not possible! If I could decide to be either gay or straight, believe me, I would! It would save me from a lot of grief from both straight people and gay people. I cannot change my orientation any more than they can. I am bi and that’s all there is to it.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

Being open to meet and form relationships with people regardless of their sex!

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

It has been mixed. Mostly supportive, but I have already had one gay friend refer to me as gay. I am not offended by that, but I wonder if he means that he things “bi is not a thing” and that I am “really” gay.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Come out. It is estimated that almost half of the LGBT community is Bi, but that over 80% of Bi people are closeted. There are so many of us! We would maybe not be “erased” so much if we would let others know who we are!