Female

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Stacy. I am Bisexual.

I never really know what to put on a profile of myself, I've deleted and re-thought out the opening sentence four times already... I'm a mother of four, most of them are teenagers- it's just so much fun! I work in non-profit, the money is crap but I enjoy my job. I love feeling like I'm doing something for the community and improving the lives of others. I'm a landlocked mermaid, I love all things with mermaids, I have since the first time I watched Splash when I was a kid. I dream of life aquatic. I love body art, my fiance is a piercer, so I have plenty of metal; I just wish I had more tattoos. I love makeup, for the art of it all. It's an obsession. I guess that's just how I am, though. I find something I like and I go completely overboard for it. Scorpio. LOL

What being bisexual means to me

It took me a long time to come to terms with being bisexual, there are still people that I hide it from. When I was younger I knew that I liked men, but I was also attracted to women. It was part of me that I just didn't understand, I was confused and worried that the other kids would hate. You are either supposed to be gay or straight. There isn't supposed to be an in between.
When I got older and got married my husband treated my bisexuality as a "perk" to being married to me. He pressured me into swinging, later he ended up leaving me for one of the women he was interested in. During the divorce he tried to use my sexuality against me in court, even though it was his idea that we had a non-monogamous marriage.
I'm older now, and I've grown in my thinking. My sexuality isn't a party favor. I choose who I want to be with. My fiance is a wonderful man who understands me, we've been together for eight years. I am proud of who I am. I'm no longer confused. There doesn't have to be "either gay or straight". Love is love.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

Please don't assume that I'm into crazy sex because I'm bisexual. When I was dating I often heard "oh, you're bi? Do you want to have a three-some?". Um. No.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

There was this girl, in high school. There is always this one person in high school, right? She was so cool, she was everything that was cool in the 90s. I couldn't help staring at her. She was so cool, it wasn't even about her being pretty, I mean she was, but... I had a hard time even processing that I was attracted to her, I mean there were guys that I was into. When I was married he knew that I was "bi-curious", he talked me into exploring. After we got a divorce, god it feels like so long ago, I realized I enjoy the company of both men and women. It's not just about sex.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Feeling "in between". Being judged as the one who has crazy sex all of the time. It's not just about sex. Being bisexual does not make me a "slut".

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

Honestly, the best thing about being a bisexual woman is that people feel like they can tell me about their sexuality. When I was in college a lot of people came out to me, I think that it makes it easier for people to be who they are when they are around me. Does that make sense?

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

There are some people who don't know, but for the most part people have either been dismissive or intrigued.
I've raised my children to be accepting, they don't even really think of it as a thing.
My adopted parents (long story there) are Conservative Christians, my dad is a pastor. I haven't told them. I've barely talked to them since we got into an argument about marriage equality. That was two years ago.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Just be yourself. Do things for you. You are not "in between".