Hi, I‘m Lauren. I am Bisexual. I am a married mother of two. I love living in a country area, surrounded by hills and paddocks. I live on an acre in a small village. I love music and I play the guitar. That really helps me to still feel like an individual, as well as being a full time stay at home mum.
To really understand me, one must understand that I have a firm belief in God and am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Otherwise known as Mormons. This belief that I have defines a lot of my lifestyle and values. I am comfortable with my sexual orientation and believe that everyone is unique for a reason and there's no need to feel like we all must be the same, dress the same or think the same.
What being bisexual means to meBeing bi means being me. Unapologetically me. I cannot change my orientation, I cannot choose who I become attracted to. To me, being bi means gender isn't important when it comes to attraction and connection.
I have always been a Tom-boy and for many years I have tried to fit into a feminine norm. But as I've grown I have realised that I am the way I am for a reason and there's no need to try to be anyone but myself. As a Christian, I believe that there is me, just as I am, and also the best me, the me that Christ wants me to be. Disciplined, faithful, loving and kind. I can mesh these two identities together to be who I am and who I want to be.
What I would like the world to know about bisexualsThat we exist, even though I am married to a man. I feel invisible because people assume I'm straight. My identity as bi still matters, even tho I am married and faithful to my husband.
What was your path to a bisexual identity?I always knew women held some allure for me. Even as a child, I felt attracted to, drawn to, older women. I had boyfriends but my first real, head over heels, madly and deep love was a girl who was in my soccer team. I was 16 and she was 15.
It was hard because the relationship was secret but I wanted to shout my love from the rooftops.
The relationship in itself wasn't a wholesome, uplifting experience. The relationship was off and on for a few years, even I had boyfriends in between. I came to realise that I couldn't commit myself to her even though I felt addicted to her. I needed to move on and I have in, my own way.
After I was married I thought of myself as "straight." I thought I had chosen to be straight but I didn't realise that I have always been bi, even though my sexuality is fluid, there are times when my sexual orientation isn't even on my radar but there are other times when I dwell on it more and my attraction and desire for a female companion increases.
What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?For me, the invisibility of it because I am married. No one asks me about my sexual orientatin because I'm married. Sometimes I feel like it shouldn't matter if people know or not but I feel like it's a big part of my identity and makeup.
What is the best thing about being bisexual?You know I really don't know how to answer that question. I'm not "proud" of my sexuality but I'm not ashamed of it either. I guess for me, it's hard when my attraction for women grows and I need to watch my thoughts and desires because I want to my loyal to my husband.
How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?My parents know but it's never been openly talked about. My husband has been great and very supportive and understanding. He doesn't quite understand how I feel invisible or why it matters that people know or not.
What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?Just accept it I think. Let go of any shame if you have it.