Male

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Steven. I am Bisexual.

I am an Architect, who lives in the Chicago/Milwaukee Metropolitan Zone in the upper Midwest. I have always loved to create things, whether it be drawings, photographs, or buildings. My Architectural experience includes the design of housing, churches, banks, hospitals and cemeteries. I have been married to a beautiful woman for 28 years, and have an also beautiful daughter, who is just entering college. I was born in the early 1960s to very young parents, so I consider myself of (2) generations. To clarify this, I was born in late 1964, so demographically I am one of the last baby boomers. My parents were only 20 years old when I was born, and considered the oldest of the baby boom. Because of this, I was nurtured via the experiences of the boomer generation from a very young age - things like the anti-war movement, the sexual revolution, the beginnings of the ecology movement, modern art, etc. All of my friends had pre-baby boomer parents, so they grew in a more traditional setting, and thus I was socialized outside my family in a more conservative fashion. This eventually led to some conflicts as I was discovering my sexuality later on. Importantly, I was a happily loved and nurtured child.

What being bisexual means to me

To myself, bisexuality means that you are openly honest with your attitude and actions toward sexuality. It is somewhat like being on a nude beach with a few other people, except without the nudity or sand - everyone is conscious about who they really are in context with others.
I have accepted the fact that I am attracted to all sexual physiques, whether male, female or shemale, and feel no aversion to expressing myself to any of these groups in an intellectual, or physically intimate fashion. These are all positive forms of communication, which I may desire in different scenarios..

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

The simple response is that bisexuals are people too.

The more formal answer is the following:
Every living person is a living human being, and at maturity, capable of either choosing or not to express to another being sexually. Everyone is either shaped like a male, female, a mix of both, or without either characteristics. The important thing is that all beings live, breath, eat, sleep. Bisexuals are within that continuum.

I'd also like to state that bisexuals are normal people in the fact that sexual expression does not have to given in a wild haphazard context. Bisexuals can be logical, sensitive, moral and responsible people, like anyone else.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I had bisexual feelings as a young teenager in the late 70s. Even though this era was probably considered the 'high point' of the Pre-Aids sexual revolution, I was socially more conservative in terms of my place in society ( this was even though I was open to many of these progressive ideas personally). Thus, when I had some feelings over other men, I basically reacted with a high level of anxiety. In fact, I was actually worried about being gay, because I never really understood Bisexuality being a possibility at that time. I had struggles with not being able to reconcile sexual feelings towards men, with other sexual feelings towards women. Basically, I shelved my struggle, as I began to focus more on the other aspects of growing up.

Due to this, I dated very little throughout high school and most of college, but had closer non-sexual relationships with people of both sexes. I began dating my future wife at the very end of college, married her when I was 24, and have remained married for 28 years. During this time, we raised a beautiful daughter, who is beginning college.

With the extra freedom of time and clarity of becoming an empty nester, I have begun to reassess some of those early struggles, and at the age of 52, am accepting that I am in fact Bisexual. I owe some of this to the growth of the millennial generation, who seems to be more positioned to accepting all levels of sexuality within the LGBTQUIAP2K fluid spectrum. This realization runs more in line what I struggled to realize and accept 40 years ago.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

I'm new at bisexuality, so my actions and behaviors are slowly coming to full reconciliation with my feelings and desires. My inner family is acceptable to this, but there will need to be negotiations not required if I had chosen to come out 40 years ago. Although, I am much wiser now than then.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

The psychological freedom to accept and act on my real feelings.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Some have been confused, or perplexed.
Others happy, relieved that I am accepting of it.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Please be true to your real feelings and start your behaviors sexually in a safe and nurturing environment. If you accept who you really are, than you will be able to overcome the anxiety to achieve a healthy framework of like-minded practicing Bisexuals.

Bisexuality is a real orientation that needs to be taken seriously. Don't heed to the statements that Bisexuality is only a 'half baked' version of being gay or lesbian. I am 52 and a successful person who happens to be Bisexual, and definitely NOT think that I am 'half baked'....