Genderqueer

Bisexual

United Kingdom



Hi, I‘m Cet. I am Bisexual.

Hi. I'm a support worker for mentally ill young people. I have a degree in childhood and youth studies. I'm the middle child of 5 kids. I've been married to my partner for 7 years and he has been pivotal in my development as a person. I am teaching myself how to draw, how to play ukulele and wood carving. I am also a puppeteer on the side as I have always depended on the arts to help with my mental health (I have GAD).

What being bisexual means to me

Being bisexual means being honest with myself, and being my most authentic self.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

The world needs to realise that the world is not binary. It never has been. And people throughout history have been bisexual or some variation of. We need to stop stereotyping people and realise that we are all individuals. I feel that members of the queer community sometimes want to remove the B from LGBT. And if any group of people should understand, it should be our fellow queers.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I grew up in a conservative christian household, and was taught that there were gays and lesbians and they were probably going to hell. I grew up discovering the word bisexual, from things like tv and film, where they were mocked or it was said that they were greedy or confused. I started fancying girls when I started puberty, and I panicked that I was a lesbian and that I was going to hell, so I repressed my feelings and put it down to going through a phase. Steadily my friends started coming out as bi, and I was a bit callous and disregarded them, saying that they were confused. It wasn't until I got married to a man, and had honest conversations about sex, that I realized that this wasn't a phase. So I came out to my husband and he was supportive. Then I came out to my friends, and no one was surprised. I came out to my parents a few months ago. They accepted it. Not as happily as I had hoped. But now I'm out and proud.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

I'm always scared about coming out to a new person, because there is so much biphobia in the straight and queer community.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

The best thing for me is accepting that the future could hold anything. If my husband passes on, I could remarry, a man or a woman. There are no restrictions.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Most people have been very normal about it. A couple of my female friends keep joking about having threesomes. And there are a few people who see me as sex obsessed. The first question my parents asked was had I had an affair. And one of my bi friends said that I wasn't bi, because I hadn't had sex with a woman, so I was only bicurious. That hurt me. It shows that biphobia is everywhere.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Be honest with yourself. What do you want? If the answer is, I'm not sure, then take your time. Don't rush to a label. Just be you. You'll find the words to describe you eventually. You are the most important person.