Female

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m McKenzie. I am Bisexual.

I am a painter, an project billing specialit, a wanderer, a music junkie, and adventurer, and a travel bug. I am in a loving, monogamous relationship with a man and it's almost been two years now! I absolutely love traveling, meditating, and figuring out what it means to be truly alive in this life. I love people, but I don't love everyone sexually and that is the most important lesson I try to get across. I am a very passionate person with big goals in this life.

What being bisexual means to me

Before my current boyfriend, I was exclusively dating women for awhile. I am a level 3-4 on the Kinsey Scale. My boyfriend has been nothing but supportive and has made sure that he keeps my sexuality important and valid, even though to the world being a feminine bisexual, I have been not taken very seriously at times.The stigma I have experienced from being bisexual has been aggravating, but I have learned that educating others is the greatest way to fight it. I grew up in a very conservative family from west Texas and although I LOVE them....I do feel erased sometimes due to their strict religious beliefs. However, I have held strong and have chosen to continue being me with the support of my friends and boyfriend. Being bisexual to me means being HONEST about who you are. FIGHTING STIGMAS from bierasure and people who aren't fully educated on The Kinsey Scale or what being bisexual means. And LOVING in the face of adversity and anyone who judges you based on fear of the unknown.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

We are not all polyamorous or monogamous, but we definitely can be! There are many stigmas against bisexuals and it is important to address them as often as possible. I am a 3-4 on the Kinsey Scale and am in a completely monogamous relationship with my boyfriend of two years. I love him and see a future with him, but just because I am dating a straight-cis man....does not mean I am not still bisexual. I want the world to know that it isn't all about sex. I am very capable of falling in love with and having an emotional relationship with a woman and I have. Right now, it just happens to be my partner is straight and of the opposite sex and I'm crazy about him.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

It took me years to come out and it still is hard to be out, but I am learning one day at a time. I used to believe I just had to be straight or gay to make it easier on other people and myself, but a few years ago with the help of educating myself I realized I am BI and it is totally okay to be so! If someone doesn't understand or judges YOUR sexuality based on THEIR fear or not understanding, it isn't your problem. It's theirs. Just be you.
I've been attracted to women since I was in jr. high, but I used to think it was just normal. Until I realized it wasn't and I wanted more. I fell in love with my first girlfriend at 20 and I really hurt her because I was afraid of people being confused with me dating a butch lesbian and label me confused or gay. So many old friends (got rid of those) used to tell me "But you're not gay" when I would go on dates with women and it really made me suffer.I became very depressed and self-sabotaged a lot. I started seeing a therapist and it helped tremendously. Also, my best friend told me "Kenzie, you don't have to be totally straight or totally gay!" and it hit me. I didn't have to choose. I could love both sexes and it be okay. And that is when I found out what being bisexual really meant. I was totally undedicated and there were a lot of my own stigmas I was putting on the group out of fear. I have never felt more at home with myself.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Stigmas. I have had close friends support me wholeheartedly but tell me "I could never date a bi..." meaning no harm because they don't understand that they are totally judging what it means to be bisexual. When I asked them why? They couldn't answer and realized that was total bierasure. The stigmas get old and a lot of times I feel like the gay community can be hateful towards bisexuals. We are totally capable of having a loving, monogamous relationship with the same sex or the opposite sex if we are monogamous people and choose to do so. WE AREN'T CONFUSED. Also, just because I'm bi doesn't mean I'm attracted to everyone I meet. I'm actually really, really picky.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

BEING ME.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Just be yourself and embrace it! Talk to friends or find safe places online and ask questions about it. Don't let the stigmas keep you from being out. You don't totally have to be straight OR gay and you are welcome here in our community! Spread the love and educate others. But always be sure to love yourself first and that means being honest with yourself about who you are. It may be a tough road for awhile...or forever...but just keep swimming and continue to surround yourself with people who support you.