Male

Pansexual

Canada



Hi, I‘m Ryan. I am Pansexual.

Hi, I'm an engineering student living in Ontario, Canada. I'm an avid reader, gamer, chainmaille designer/weaver, actor, and all around nerdy fellow. I have a deep passion for artificial intelligence and hope to one day construct an A.I. that will be able to do more than simply pass the Turing Test.

What being bisexual means to me

To me being bisexual is about having the opportunity to be honest with myself about my own emotions and feelings. Instead of replacing them with whatever I think is the correct reaction.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

I think the most important thing for people to realise is that you don't have to check off all of the boxes to be bisexual. You don't have to prove anything. You don't have to be exactly 50/50, or even subscribe to the idea of being 50/50 on your sexuality.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

Oh boy, that is a fun question. It's a particularly long story, and I'm happy to give it to anyone who wants to talk one-on-one, but for the purposes of this profile I'll summarise it. I was in deep, very deep denial about it. I just refused to let myself consider it. Then some situations occurred where I was unable to deny it. Then after a few drunk nights with some good friends (christ that sounds like the beginning to a porno, but I assure you that was not the case) I started to gather more information and arrived at the conclusion that I am pansexual.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The toughest thing is definitely the lack of visibility. Most people I meet still think that pansexual has the same definition that Freud applied to it half a century ago. So if I don't get the chance to explain I'm often worried that people think that means I'm some disgusting amalgamation of a necrophiliac and a bestiality practitioner. And the people I tend to meet who do recognise the term describe it as a "made up Tumblr thing".

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

The best thing is definitely the freedom associated with it. Since a person's genitalia isn't the deciding factor for my affection.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

I have two stories for this one. This first one was just shocking at the time. The girlfriend of a friend of mine who didn't know I was pan randomly started lecturing us on what the definition of pansexual is, and how it means that a person who is pansexual likes to have sex with literally anyone including animals. She even went on to talk about this supposedly pansexual person she knew who raped a horse. So I set her straight, I told her that I'm pansexual and what it really means. She didn't have much to say after that. Before that I came out to a friend of mine whom I've known since kindergarten, and at first he was actually excited. He started asking me questions about how I figured it out and stuff like that. Before I could reply though another friend of mine asked what it means. So my first friend goes on to explain how it means you like to form polyamorous relationships. I couldn't stop laughing. That second one was just a simple misunderstanding though, he's cool.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

The best advice I can give is to not let others tell you how you feel about anything. And don't let anyone pressure you into doubting your emotions and feelings.