Male

Bisexual

United States



Hi, I‘m Kevin. I am Bisexual.

I am an openly bi man who is married to a woman. I have had so many past experiences with other married/closeted bi men and I decided to try to "normalize" my bi identity by being out and open about it. I have struggled with ignorance and harassment from both straight and queer men and women who deny bisexuality. I find that by being very open and owning my bi identity in casual, everyday conversation (with family, coworkers, etc.) I can make bisexual men more visible and demonstrate that bisexuality in men exists.

What being bisexual means to me

Being a bisexual means I am emotionally and physically attracted to men and women. More importantly, it means I own and accept myself as someone who does not fit into the binary system we have constructed in our straight/gay society. I live openly and proudly and embrace my bi identity.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

I would like the world to know that bisexual men exist. We are not closeted homosexuals (not that there's anything wrong with them!). Bisexual men are not all self-denying. Some of us are married to women, out, and proud.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I was always considered "culturally gay" before I ever discovered my bi identity. I never subscribed to traditional masculinity and have always been open to self exploration and evolution. After exploring same sex physical intimacy, it didn't take long for me to accept this as a fundamental and valuable part of my life and identity.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Being an open and out bi man is very difficult. Those bi men that exist as role models are usually erased and dismissed as gay. Many gay men assume I am closeted and judge me and most straight men (and women) assume I am a homosexual in denial. That I can exist and function as a part of both communities and that I can enjoy physical intimacy with both genders is something I would like valued and accepted.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

I don't think there is any particular advantage or great thing about being bisexual. We are all beautiful and wonderful in our ways and sexuality is but a piece to one's complex identity and personality.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My family have been very accepting. Strangers, both men and women, straight and queer, have been both accepting and hostile in turn. I have had dates ended when I admit my bisexuality and insults thrown at me as well. My friends and family, however, truly accept me for who I am.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Although it is difficult to be a bi man, particularly a bi man who is in a man/woman relationship. However, the only way to accept yourself and help other bisexuals love themselves and gain the respect of others is to OWN your bisexuality. Many will doubt you or throw you in one category or another. But we are out there! Bi men exist! You can find your way if you accept yourself, do not judge your sexuality or intimacy choices, and find those that are kind enough to support you.