Genderqueer

Bisexual

United Kingdom



Hi, I‘m Alfie Lee. I am Bisexual.

H! I'm in my late twenties now, with two beautiful children and I've been happily married to my (straight) husband for five years. I'm a writer - have been since birth! I love poetry and books. I love travel - my husband and I want to see as much of this world as possible once our children have grown up - which is happening very quickly! I love all kinds of music - especially rock and hip hop. I love rom-coms and Chinese takeaways! I love fashion - I'm genderqueer and present as male so I play around a lot with styles and wear whatever feels fun and comfortable. I love fitness and am in the process of beginning weight training and yoga. I have a huge imagination and love for all things creative - my husband is a wonderful artist and musician. I'm learning the play the guitar and I want to take up some kind of art skill asap!

What being bisexual means to me

For me, it means that I have the capability to be attracted - both romantically and sexually to other genders rather than exclusively to men. I'm married to a straight man, but have always felt romantic and sexual attraction to women as well as to trans people.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

We are not confused! Or going through a phase, following a trend, or being greedy! We simply ARE. As much as being gay is a real, honest, factual truth, as is bisexuality.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I always dated men exclusively - it was just what was done. What was the norm. And I was attracted to men. Still am. But I also always felt attraction to women, I thought they were beautiful and when I got older - realised I thought they were hot too! I also had a transgender friend as a teen that I secretly felt very drawn to - but was too afraid to act upon! I didn't allow myself to see women, or trans people, or people of any other gender or sexuality in a sexual manner until I was in my late teens. I was too focused on my male dating relationships and I didn't want to be seen as different. It was always there though. I just never let my walls down in that respect. I got married to my husband at 22 and I had two children - the first at 17. Only when I came out as genderqueer this year have I spoken to words bisexual to anyone. And I'm so glad I did! It's been liberating and my husband and the majority of family and friends support me

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

People assuming I need to or will leave my husband at some point for a female. I cannot stress how much this angers me. And learning who is actually there for you and who really supports you. Additionally, the spite you receive as a bisexual, from straight people as well as some members of the LGBT community. We're supposed to support each other.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

For me, being bi is not simply being attracted to males as well as females, I identify as bisexual, on the proviso that this sexuality incorporates non-binary people also. And I love that. I see the beauty in a range of people. And I love the sense of community we, as a group have.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Wonderfully actually! I was prepared for some amount of ridicule or confusion, but for the most part - family and friends have been great. My mother already knew! She'd always known.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Don't analyse it too much and worry too much about 'how bi' you are - if you've ever been attracted to a member of the same sex as well as other sexes - you're probably bi, or another form of it. There are so many labels out there - research! But don't stress. Whatever feels comfortable and whatever speaks to you, own it. Also, if you're unsure whether to come out or if you're in the process of doing so - let me tell you - it's so liberating! I didn't shout it from the rooftops, I just casually informed my family and friends during conversation and it went great! Always be true to yourself, own who you are and don't let anyone make you feel less of yourself or ashamed/embarrassed - bisexuality is real and natural and wonderful!