United States

Hi, I‘m William. I am Bisexual.

I'm currently employed as a field service representative for the circulation department of a local newspaper publisher; I live in the wilds of Kennebec County, Maine, with my elderly parents at the moment as I've been recovering from debts left me by my estranged wife. I am a lifelong lover and collector of music - all sorts save hip-hop and country (albeit a little of that, too). I love the arts, I love to read, I am a Celtic Pagan, having initially been turned on to Wicca some 26 years ago - I consider myself something of an agnostic as I am not really sure what or who might be out there, but believe the universe to be an awesome and wonderful place that simply cannot be explained away by anyone's holy book. (Science is doing a much better job of that, IMO!) I view myself as a student of life, although the traditional halls of education have netted me nothing more than an Associates Degree in Electronic Engineering Science. (Yeah, I got suckered into going to ITT Tech - please don't judge!) I come from a family of intellectually curious people, and I thoroughly enjoy any cultural experience that comes my way, especially of a culinary nature. Having lived in rural Maine, New Orleans, Memphis, TN, upstate New York, and the Greater Boston area, as well as visiting Canada, England and Ireland (and so many more places on my bucket list), I have been fortunate to experience so much in my life.

What being bisexual means to me

Being able to love both sexes, and to enjoy sex with both. To be open-minded and willing to try anything. To be free to be myself as I understand myself to be.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I became aware of my bisexuality when I was about 15 - I was having wet dreams about both sexes. Beautiful buxom women and hot hunky men alike, loving me up. My earliest sexual experiences were experiments with another boy - I discovered that I loved sucking cock - and I lost my virginity at 19 to a girl. From age 19 onward, however, my experiences with other men were clandestine and risky, albeit exciting.
Because of this, I felt conflicted and, although I tried to come out to my parents, they didn't believe me. So I largely subsumed my gay side and pursued relationships with women. I confess that there are few activities I love as much as making love - being inside somebody is my favorite feeling in the world, and presented with the opportunity to make love, I go for it. (Mind you, I do understand that no means no!) But by age 40, I found myself needing to come to some sort of resolution and decided that I had to embrace my bisexuality. Although happily married, I also wanted - had wanted for a long time - to have a boyfriend. It's never happened yet, but I am not giving up on the possibility. I dreamed of being shared between my wife and another man, or between two men.
At 45, I began to have this conversation with my wife - she and I had both had homosexual experiences before we met, both enjoyed them, and our early relationship involved a great deal of sex and fantasies experimented with. After 12 years together, I had thought we were relaxed enough with each other to maybe open our marriage up a little. Sadly, this was not the case, and while I know there was more to it, she stated my bisexuality as her reason for leaving (she called it a "dealbreaker"). My heart was quite broken for a long time.
Nevertheless, I proudly claim my sexual orientation, and have not given up hope that I will have the relationship I want someday.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

Trying to gain acceptance on either side of the fence. I think it hurts most to be scorned by gays.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My wife left me. My mother didn't believe me. So my family remains in the dark about my orientation - I don't know if I'll ever come out to them - but I will continue to surround myself with friends who get it.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Be VERY careful! And be certain that you are; people will say you're going through a phase; I thought so at first myself, but I could not deny what I am. Neither should you.