Female

Bisexual

United Kingdom



Hi, I‘m Heather. I am Bisexual.

I am a Bisexual girl from Scotland. I am open about my bisexuality. I am still a student, but I am also an assitant instructor for my taekwondo club and i hope to become a fully flesh instructor when I am eighteen and after my final year of school I hope to go to university to study primary teaching as well as take a TELF course- teaching English as a foreign language- so I can then teach in different countries and cultures around the world. I have been doing taekwondo for just about 12 years now and hope in my future that I can become a master and an international referee so I can be up front during compitions for taekwondo e.g., the Olympics for taekwondo. I have two younger sisters and am very close with my mum's side of the family. I have two dogs, a dalmation- Zeus- and Tri collie - Xena- I love my dogs and to me they are family.

What being bisexual means to me

Bisexual to me means....Loving someone and not caring about what they've got in their pants. Bisexual to me means....being me.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

You are not greedy, confused. Being bisexual does not mean you have to choose a side. Being bisexual does not mean that you will cheat in your relationships - Because that doesn't stop straight or queer people cheating now does it-. If you are a teenager and you aare bisexual and people are telling you you are just confused...don't listen. Yes maybe there are some people who are finding their way but if you know you are, then you are.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

Throughout my life, I've always noticed I had some sort of attraction to girls. When I was young I had this beautiful Victorian styles glass doll who I would always -carefully - play with. I always took the 'prince' role, because back then I didn't really know much of same sex relationships (although I have an uncle who is gay and i knew then he was gay). I would sometimes imagine weddings between me and the doll. I always cherished her. Later, still in my primary years, I had a friend, a girl who I was close to and who I shared an innocent and simple kiss with when we were playing a game- we were both cops. I was the female cop and an was the male cop.) I 'went out with ' a few of the boys , but that was mostly due to the pressure of having girlfriends and boyfriend's then - for some strange reason-. So, I always had a small inclination that I had an attraction to girls. But I still liked boys. This was why, in my first two years of highschol I struggled with what was going through my mind. I had a boyfriend yes, and then I didn't think of it to much. But I my third year, I sat in a cafe with my friends and i noticed a girl walk past. She had just left high school and was visiting teachers. She looked very pretty and was wearing this flowery dress that I thought suited her well. For moments I just admired her. I thought she was quite beautiful. Then , at that table a friend at the time said. "I'm a lesbian". This got me thinking a whole lot more. Was I a lesbian? I mean...o liked looking at girls...but..i liked boys right?. Im lucky that im on the generation where we can now find many things on social media to help us understand many terms. That was where I came across 'bisexuality'. I realised that that must explain for me...I felt that I had a community to belong to. Yet I was out off by comments I would see about bisexuals online. That bisexuals were justconfused, greedy or just with 'one foot' out the closet my own father even told me when I came out to him as bisexual that I was just confused - I'll save that for later on however.

I had another boyfriend. This time not just some childish relationship, and it was a good relationship but we started to slowly separate from each other so we ended on terms of friendship. This was around the time I began struggling again, I had started becoming attracted to a friend. It confused me to no end if I was really just lesbian. Even when I negan dating that person.( So yes I can say I have dated both males and females. ) However that person broke up with me not soon after - she was just 'confused'about her sexuality and dosnt think she saw girls as anything more than friends- I felt hurt at the time. After, I took time to really think about myself. I knew I was attracted to girls, but I sure as hell still liked guys too. I wasn't just 'confused'. I am complete and utterly bisexual. And yes when I came out I did get the phrase 'your just confused from my father. But after a few years of me still telling him and correcting him im bisexual- since sometimes he accidently uses the word 'lesbian'- i think he is beginning to understand that i am bisexual. Even if I marry a man, or a woman in my later life. I will still be bisexual. I am bisexual. I am not confused. I am not greedy because I am not attracts to just anyone just as every woman is not attracted to every single man or vice versa. I am bisexual. I am me. I am human.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The toughest thing is....Being told I need time to think over my sexuality, or that I am just confused by family members -now I don't get it so much.

Getting trust from the same sex , so for me, women who are lesbian who might be interested in you but think because you like the opposite gender that you won't stay faithful or always want them.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

'You get the best of both worlds' - Hannah Montana.

You will know I don't just care about what is in your pants. I don't care whether your man or woman.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My father, at first thought I was confused.
My mother didn't say anything because an is very open and dosnt need to say anything because she treated it as she would when I said I had boyfriend's.
My (mother's parents) grandparents are completely down to earth and they know, infact my mum's side of the family all know. None of them judge me for it. They love me for me.
My friends didn't care ( they actually thought I was gay before I told them or they knew I was dating a guy. )

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

If you know you are bisexual , then you very likely not confuse so don't believe anything like that. You don't even need to label yourself of you don't want to.