United States

Hi, I‘m Kayla. I am Bisexual.

Hi, my name is Kayla and I live in Utah, but I'm not a Mormon. I am Agnostic. I am working hard to become a film actress when I move out to California in a year. Currently, I have 2 film jobs, but to cover my expenses, I work at a fast food restaurant and I'm also an admin. at a water bottling company. I was raised by two moms, but recently they split up, so I live with my biological mother in my grandpa's house. It's a good thing; they never worked well together anyway. I go to a performing arts high school to get the best acting training I can before I go to the performing arts college that I got accepted to, in California.

What being bisexual means to me

Bisexuality, to me, means being me. Not everything is black and white; there is a gray zone, and I am a part of it. Being bisexual means not having to choose.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

We are not indecisive. We do not cheat because we "can't make up our minds." We can lean more towards being attracted to one gender and still be bisexual.

Asking us to just "pick a side" is like asking us to take away a part of ourselves. If it was as simple as "picking one," why wouldn't we? It would make the discrimination against us for being bi go away. But, we can't just pick a side, 'cause we enjoy both of them.

Just 'cause we're bi doesn't mean we want a three-way.

We don't say we are bisexual because we are secretly gay or straight.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

I have always known I liked both genders, but never had a way to explain it. I knew about being gay or straight at a young age, but I thought that that was all there was. As I got older, I heard more and more people say that they liked both and that they where bisexual. This was a new word for me, and the moment I heard it, and knew what it meant; I realized I was it! I was bisexual; I am bisexual. Even though I found out who I was, I still wasn't comfortable coming out of the closet to my friends and family. Years later, I came out in high school, and what I thought would be the biggest deal in the world, wasn't. Everyone accepted me and brushed it off like it wasn't a big deal. I was still me and my sexual identity didn't change that. Besides, most people knew who I was before I even realized it.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The hardest part of being bisexual is the stereotyping. When a straight man finds out you are bi, they ask you to prove it. When women find out, they think you want them. In actuality, they're most likely not my type, and the only reason they found out is 'cause they asked, or it came up in conversation.

But, the hardest part for me, personally, is that my mother doesn't believe me and says, "no, really, you're actually gay." Though she supports me fully, I know that she thinks of bisexuality as a stepping stone out of the full-on gay closet.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

The best part of bisexuality is finding other people like you. When you come out, and think you are all alone, and find another bisexual, it's the most comforting thing. It's not about becoming partners with this other bisexual; it's about getting to talk about your insecurities and questions with them. You, and this other, are connected on another level that nobody could understand.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Most people take my bisexuality very well. I have met some strangers, who when they saw me holding hands with a girl, tried to start a fight with me. Luckily, there were some onlookers who took them away.

When I told my friends, they where just like, "duh!". Most people who saw me being attracted to the opposite gender, just assumed I was gay. When I say bi, they do get confused for a while and think I am just slowly coming out as gay, but eventually they accept it.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

If you are bi-curious, I would advise that you give it time. Don't rush yourself and come out if you are unsure of your sexuality. It's ok to not know what you are, because you have plenty of time to figure it out. Also, sexuality is not permanent, so don't worry about it. If you are coming out, start by telling a close friend that you trust. If you don't live in a safe environment, that makes you feel comfortable to come out, I suggest you hold off until you can be. Start by telling close friend and peers. When it feels right, and you will know, tell family. You can announce it over social media, but it is usually best done face to face.