Hi, I‘m Jacqueline. I am Bisexual. I am currently a graduate student in a school counseling program and I work as a paraeducator (special needs support staff) for K-12 students. I like to make art (check out my art on instagram), bake, watch bad TV with my partner, and hang out with my cat! I'm very interested in the intersection of psychology and spirituality.
What being bisexual means to meFor me, being bisexual is simply (and complex-ly!) my identity. I have a variety of ways I can be attracted to someone, though I tend to be hetero-romantic. Bisexual can sometimes mean feeling like an outsider in this binary world, but most of the time, this gives me a sense of strength.
What I would like the world to know about bisexualsHow we define our sexual identity is our decision and our right. We are not going through a phase and we are not saying it for attention.
What was your path to a bisexual identity?I knew from a young age that I was sexually attracted to women and romantically attracted to boys. I didn't have crushes on girls, but definitely felt physically attracted to women in movies and tried to emulate their attractive power. I had a lot crushes on guys and started developing sexual feelings towards them. Late in high school I came out as bisexual to my sister and then to my friends.
What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?The toughest thing is feeling like my identity is invalidated constantly by other people's opinions and assumptions about bisexuals. It is also really hard to have had a Christian background growing up, where it was assumed that if you had any sexual feelings towards someone of the same sex, that automatically made you gay. It's ironic and terrible that much of the LG(B)TQ+ community thinks the same. I really hope that more awareness about bisexuality, and our existence, will make it so that others in our LGBTQ+ community will finally accept us for who we are and not as confused people going through a phase.
What is the best thing about being bisexual?Getting to fantasize about anyone! Of course, I do think that most people are at least a tiny bit bisexual, they might just be hiding it from themselves. But yeah, it's sexy and fun to know that I can appeal to all sexes because I don't discriminate.
How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?My partner was amazingly supportive. He didn't totally understand at first, but I don't think a lot of people totally understand it. Sexuality is complicated, but at least we're open about it! I have a lot of friends who are bi/queer, so it wasn't hard coming out to them. I still haven't told my parents yet. My dad will be fine with it, but my mom is a very traditional Christian and will struggle. I hope though, that coming out to her will help her develop more openness and understanding. Maybe when she hears that her own daughter was born this way, she'll be less likely to judge others for being the same/similar.
What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?As much as you can, don't stress over it. Go with the flow and see where it tends to take you. Sexual and romantic attraction can at times be on different scales, and that's okay. It can be confusing, but just follow your heart. Seek support from local groups or friends who you trust. Talking about it rather than keeping it stuck in your head is absolutely necessary, and you'll feel relieved. Just remember that you are valid, your sexuality is valid, and no one can define it for you.