Female

Bisexual

France



Hi, I‘m Megara. I am Bisexual.

I am a French student studying business. I have big dreams and contemplate living in the UK or in the US when I graduate. My friends would describe me as a very funny and uncommon person. I'm a bit self-centered, but it's also very important to me to help others. I tend to give more than I actually get.

What being bisexual means to me

I don't really know if I am bisexual or pansexual. To me, it just means loving a person no matter what gender they identify as. When it comes to love, I'm more spiritual about it, and the appearance of the person is not a priority, although it does matter. Thus, I don't care if the person is a man, woman, transgender, or whatever they identify as. I fall in love with a personality.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

I would like to break some stereotypes like: no, being bisexual is not a trend, it's not a phase, and it doesn't mean I am confused. It doesn't mean I am gay and trying to persuade myself to also like men. I doesn't mean that I am greedy nor that I enjoy threesomes. If I am in a relationship with a man, it doesn't mean I am heterosexual; and if I am in a relationship with a girl, it doesn't make me a lesbian either.

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

As far as I can remember, I have always felt an attraction to both men and women, but I didn't consider myself bisexual. To me, it seemed impossible to like girls. And since I was attracted the same way to men and women, I thought I was actually not attracted to anyone. Thus, I have long identified as asexual. Then I fell in love with a man and discovered desire. I wouldn't look at anyone else, and I thought I must be heterosexual, but it turns out I was just in love.

After that, I dated some other guys, and I was always very attracted to women too. I felt frustrated that I was not to be able to experience women the way I wanted to. I realised that I was not just curious, and that I actually loved women. I would, eventually, completely fall for one. Since I realised that, I've started identifying as bisexual and I am really proud of reaching this conclusion about myself.

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The toughest thing is that I have the feeling that I'll never be able to completely satisfied. Indeed, I like things in men that I cannot find in women, and I like things in women that I cannot find in men. I am scared this will lead to some instability, but I know this fear is not legit, because when you're in love, you don't need anybody else.

I'm also sad that some people are scared of bisexuals; they don't trust us in relationships. They believe we are going to cheat on them with someone of the opposite sex of them, and many people can't stand this idea. So, NO, if I cheat on you it's not because I'm a bisexual, and you should feel bad about the fact that I cheat on you, but not because of whom I cheat on you with.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

I am really proud of being bisexual, but I don't know if there is something good about it. I feel "normal." I have feelings. I have sex. The only difference is that the gender of the person is not relevant to me.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

Most people are fascinated. They don't really understand, so I try to explain it to them. They sometimes hurt my feelings with their words, but it's not intentional: they just don't know. Ignorance can hurt, so I try to educate them.

Unfortunately, some people think it means that I have no dignity, that I'm too open. And they tend to judge me without knowing me.

There are also some people who find it very interesting and can recognize themselves in what I say. Sometimes, it helps them realize that they're not as sure as they think about their sexual preferences.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Never be ashamed of who you are. Being bi is not a disease, it's nothing to be afraid of. Of course, you may meet some people who'll disagree with you, some people who are narrow-minded, but anyway, why would you want to associate with such people? Being out has enabled me to live my life to the full. I don't have to hide myself and I'm proud to show the world who I really am.