Hi, I‘m Doris Ngurumun. I am Bisexual. A Professional accountant, researcher, and holder of PhD in Accountancy. I am a Christian and mother of three. I am passionate about the welfare of children and other people, and generally enjoy socialising.
What being bisexual means to meIt means that I am sexually attracted to both men and women, and that love is not about gender, but the individual, male or female.
What I would like the world to know about bisexualsBisexuality is not a choice, it's part of our creation, just who we are. Accepting our sexuality openly and living as Bisexuals is our human right. However, hostility and discrimination against Bisexuals hinder Bi-visibility as many remain in the closet for fear of persecution or Biphobia. The World should aim at attaining sexuality equality for all to promote respect for Human Rights because the World that promotes the Human Rights of everyone is safer for all.
What was your path to a bisexual identity?I believe that I was likely born bisexual, but "strict Christian upbringing" in a community that abhors same-sex relationship compelled me to conceal my sexuality from public scrutiny. Later on, personal immediate family circumstances made me to realise, that failing to identify with LGBT matters and continuing to remain in the closet was no longer appropriate for me as a parent. Subsequently, I began advocating for LGBT rights and creating awareness on LGBT matters within my immediate community on the internet and finally gathered more confidence to come out as Bisexual.
What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?Being in a society that is not willing to accept the fact that one is bisexual, especially if you could be violently harmed without adequate protection from the law and law enforcement authorities. I also think without effective Bi communities around to promote meetings and engagements, it's hard to connect physically with other Bisexuals.
What is the best thing about being bisexual?For me, being sexually attracted to both men and women either at different times or concurrently and obtaining loving satisfaction from getting intimate with either of the sexes per time.
How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?Outright rejection of my openly bisexual status from most members of my immediate family and gross hostility from most other Nigerians (my fellow birth citizens) on-line. Some even suggest that I should be killed through various ways( e.g stoning, burning, be tied to a moving machine and torn apart!). Others call me various demeaning names(eg prostitute, witch, demon/devil!) or make all manner of vilifying comments against me on Yahoo groups and Facebook. It's been a period of intense terrifying persecution for me.
What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?If you think you may be bi, research about bisexuality, get signed up on bisexual ( or other LGBT) fora and read other people's testimonies of their experiences, attend bisexual group meetings if possible, give attention to your sexual attraction and consider acting on your attraction if it's possible. You need to accept your bisexuality unconditionally as a first step of coming out.
Being open/visible with the fact that you are bisexual is an important step to setting yourself free, from those who want your bisexuality to remain invisible, but your safety is also very important.