United States

Hi, I‘m Joseph. I am Bisexual.

Hey, I am Joseph. I am 21. I currently live in Texas. I love to talk and help people. It brings me a lot of joy to help people. I am an out and proud, cross-dressing, bisexual man. Some people, and a family member, have issues with it, but I decided that I was going to live my life the way I wanted to and I was going to be happy. I am done compromising myself for the world. "Take me for what I am, or leave me," as it was so famously put in the play, Rent.

What being bisexual means to me

Being bisexual, to me, means that my love and affection doesn't fit in the little boxes that the heterosexual general population says are the only forms of love or attraction. Being bisexual validates who I am to the core of my being. I am BISEXUAL and I am VALID.

What I would like the world to know about bisexuals

As a bisexual, I am not confused about what gender I should be with.
Also, just because I am dating a member of the opposite sex doesn't mean I am straight. The same goes for if I am dating another man. I am not gay. I am still bisexual. I am still me!!!!!!!

What was your path to a bisexual identity?

Well, as far back as kindergarten, I can remember having a crush on a boy and a girl in my class. I didn't think anything of it because it was normal for me. I was molested by a family friend from the age of five until fifteen, so I tried to push my bisexuality deep inside and not let it out, because I thought if I gave in to being with a man that the guy who had molested me had won in some sick twisted way.

In the process of trying to get rid of a part of myself, I became super depressed. I self-harmed because it was horrible for me to still have any sort of attraction to guys after being molested. Of course, I was wrong to try and get rid of a part of myself. As I embraced who I was, I was also forced myself to write about my molestation in a journal. It hurt a lot to allow those memories and flashbacks back in. But, to heal, I had to face being molested and realize it was not my fault. The guilt and shame was his to bear.

And that was when I started to love myself and embrace who I am. But, I still lived at home with my mom, aunt and uncle. The house is my aunt and uncle's. My mom, two younger brothers, and I moved in with them. My aunt is very religious and two-faced. She will tell you that she loves you as a gay man to your face, but, as soon as you leave, she'll talk about how being gay is that person's sin to deal with. So, while I lived at home, I was repressed some more, but my friends all knew without me saying anything, and they didn't care. My path wasn't an easy one, but I am out and proud of who I am today .

What is the toughest thing about being bisexual?

The toughest thing about being bisexual for me, is the simple fact that, a lot of people don't think of bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation, just a phase.

What is the best thing about being bisexual?

The best thing about being bisexual for me, is that I am attracted to men and woman, and that my attraction to men and women is different.

How have other people in your life reacted to your bisexuality?

My Aunt hates it. My mom loves me, and has always, even from a young age, encouraged me to be myself. And, she truly loves me unconditionally. My brother, who is a year and six days younger than me, was weird about it. I know he loves me, regardless. He got really upset that I told my close friends before him.

What advice do you have for someone who thinks they may be bi or who is in the process of coming out as bi?

Do what feels right for you. If it makes you happy, then why suffer because someone doesn't like it. The sooner you embrace and start to like yourself, you will stop hating yourself. And, the sooner you accept who you are, the sooner you stop feeling guilty and terrible over the thoughts you have.

Love who you are. Don't compromise your happiness for someone who just hurts you.