Neil Patrick Harris Once Identified as Bisexual

87th Academy Awards, Oscars, TelecastMatt Petit / ©A.M.P.A.S.

Neil Patrick Harris, the flamboyant host of the Oscars, who also hosted the Tonys successfully in the past, was once identifying himself as a bi guy. The guy who strutted before millions at the Academy Awards this past Sunday night hasn’t truly revealed all about his sexual past, which was mostly bisexual until recently.

He had many relationships with women in his earlier days, but now is married to a man, David Burtka, and they have adopted two children, Gideon and Harper, and live in Sherman Oaks, Calif.

On Howard Stern’s show, he talked about having sex with 12 to 15 woman, although he knew he liked guys since the age of 13.

In Glamour Magazine this past August, he said:

In high school all my friends were sleeping with girls, and it just seemed like that’s what one did. So therefore that’s what I did, but it left me feeling unsettled, as if I had somehow done it wrong. That’s not a good feeling. But now I think it’s easier to avoid that fate. Today, it’s cool to see a happy lesbian couple who are high school juniors. Better that than have those two girls marry people they’re not attracted to, have three kids, and then come out when they’re 50.

87th Academy Awards, Oscars, ArrivalsMark Suban / ©A.M.P.A.S.

He wrote in his book, Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography, that he began listening to Tony Robbins lectures and go into self help after the Doogie Howser TV show. At a session at the  self-help program Landmark Forum, he announced, “I am bisexual.” He writes, “In retrospect your admission of bisexuality will come to seem like a half-truth. But right now it is the truth … insofar as you are prepared to acknowledge it at that moment.”

He doesn’t deny that bisexuality exists and says his mother was always supportive of him and his journey. “She sees that even though you date some really nice girls through your high school years, it’s the cute new boy in your class or on set who really gets under your skin and thrills you and spurs your imagination,” he wrote in his book.When Harris did identify as bisexual he said it was like a “half-truth, but the only truth.” It was Burt Reynolds, though, on a spot on B.L. Stryker, that turned him forever.

87th Academy Awards, Oscars, Arrivals    87th Academy Awards, Oscars, TelecastMatt Petit / ©A.M.P.A.S.

Harris wrote: “As a joke at the end of one take, Burt leans over and kisses you square on the mouth.

The crew thinks this is very funny, but it makes you uncomfortable. Uncomfortable and, it will ultimately turn out, gay. Burt Reynolds’ kiss makes you gay.” 

Mike Szymanski
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Mike Szymanski has written about bisexual issues since 1989 and has one of the longest-running regular bisexual columns as the National Bisexuality Examiner. He came out as bisexual in a cover story of Genre magazine, which resulted in more than 50 television appearances, including Ricki Lake, Phil Donahue Show and 20/20. Szymanski won the Lambda Literary Award in 2007 for co-authoring an informative humor book “The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips and Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways.” Write him at [email protected]