Judge in Alabama Thinks 2 Bisexuals Marrying = 4

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Alabama has a new math. Or, maybe it’s just simple old-fashioned biphobia.

The Alabama Chief Judge has tried to stop same-sex marriage in the Southern state, and he has defied the Supreme Court ruling to allow licenses to continue to same-sex couples. Judge Roy Moore now tells the Associated Press that he is confused about bisexual and transgendered marriage.

It’s the old slippery-slope argument. At one time, conservatives tried to say that allowing same-sex marriage would soon allow people to marry their dog. Now, it’s just a complication for bisexuals.

“When two bisexuals or two transgendered marry, how large is that family?,” the judge said in an interview. “Can they marry two persons, one of the same sex and one of the opposite sex? Then, you’ve got a family of four or how many?”

Well no, judge, bisexuals can be monogamous, and if marriage is limited to two people tying the knot, even bisexuals will be happy. And no, judge, 1 + 1= 2, not four.

Mike Szymanski
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Mike Szymanski has written about bisexual issues since 1989 and has one of the longest-running regular bisexual columns as the National Bisexuality Examiner. He came out as bisexual in a cover story of Genre magazine, which resulted in more than 50 television appearances, including Ricki Lake, Phil Donahue Show and 20/20. Szymanski won the Lambda Literary Award in 2007 for co-authoring an informative humor book “The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips and Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways.” Write him at [email protected]