Family member: I don’t get it. You’ve always told me about everyone you’ve ever fancied because we’ve always been close. They’ve always been men.
Me: Yes, because I didn’t tell you about the women. I was scared of coming out. But there have been women, too.
Him: But I’ve known you since you were little and you’ve only shown interest in men.
Me: Again, no, I’ve shown interest in women too but secretly. I wasn’t ready to tell you.
Him: Okay, but… how can you have known this long and not told me? I thought you told me everything.
Me: This was possibly the one thing I never told you. I was worried. I didn’t know how you’d handle it. But let me tell you now. I’ve always been attracted to men and women.
Him: Okay… You always wanted to marry, though.
Me: And I still do. I’ll marry a man, or a woman. For years I tried to ignore my feelings towards women and imagined that I will only marry a man. Now I’ve accepted who I am and I would love to marry a woman or a man. I’ll fall in love with whomever and I won’t limit myself to the idea of straight marriage only.
Him: Are you a lesbian? You should definitely just say so if you are. I will love you the same. Maybe you are a lesbian and don’t feel comfortable coming out.
Me: No. I am attracted to men as well. If I were lesbian I’d say so. I’ve revealed everything now and have nothing to lose. I’m definitely attracted to both men and women.
Him: Okay, okay, I accept it. But you’ve not been with a woman.
Me: Would you question a straight virgin on if they’re really straight? It’s about feelings of attraction, not experience. I know I’m bisexual
even if I’ve not yet been with a woman.
Him: You don’t know.
Me: Did you know you were straight when you were a virgin?
Me: There you go.
Him: Okay, but you know this is going to be yet another thing to put prospective partners off? Straight men and lesbians won’t want you. You’ve really limited yourself.
Me: I’m sure that someone can someday look at me for me and not my sexuality. I wouldn’t run off with a person of another sex and cheat.
Him: But they would think you would. They won’t want you.
Me: If they understand that I love them, that I’m strictly monogamous
and have always loved the idea of having one partner for the rest of my life, they’ll know I won’t. I would never ever cheat. Plus a straight person
or a gay person can cheat too.
Him: Yes but…
Me: It’s not like I’m wanting to have both a boyfriend and a girlfriend. Some bi people are polyamorous
, but I’m strictly monogamous. I’m an only child, for goodness’ sake; I get jealous when my Mum
gets close to other people!
Him: You like your attention, so I have to ask… Are you doing this for the attention?
Me: No. I’m doing it to be true to myself.