How To Deal When Yet Another Bi Celebrity Is Gaywashed

3/29/2018

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Maybe you’ve heard, another bi celebrity is doing a newsworthy thing! I, for one, am so excited. Sure hope my celebrations aren’t dampened by headlines proclaiming said celebrity as gay! Oh, they’ve already started? GREAT. OK, HERE’S HOW TO DEAL:

Consider screaming into a pillow.

Start a frustrated gif group text with your best bis. They know how you feel.

Watch these videos:

Kittens

Piles of puppies

Follow Esther the Wonder Pig on Instagram.

Listen to music. Here’s a de-stress playlist. And three hours of “relaxing music”.

Light some candles and take a bath. Don’t worry, biphobia will still be here when you get out.

Check in with yourself. Here’s a body scan guide to get you started.

Have some fun! Print out these coloring pages. Get out a hula hoop. Put on this Janelle Monáe video and DANCE.

Binge-watch a show. I’ve got some recommendations to get you started.

Call your therapist. Biphobia, including in the form of bierasure, impacts our mental health. So reach out to your support system.

Listen to bi celebs being visible in safe places. Tune into the Jen Richards, Stephanie Beatriz, and Evan Rachel Wood episodes of the podcast Queery with Cameron Esposito.  And The BiCast has a treasure trove of interviews, including Dr Heru Khuti, David J Cork, and Margaret Cho.

Give meaningful glances, nudges, and/or direct, pointed statements encouraging bi allies to say something when they see erasure.

Get on social media, connect, communicate, speak out.

Consider sitting this one out. Bierasure is a prevalent and perpetuating tool of biphobia. There’s the world we want to live in—the world in which bi people are treated as queer folks with a particular set of needs (a great amount of which stem from biphobia). And there’s the world we live in now. Today, bierasure within the LGBTQ community echoes across society as a whole, and here we are, another gaywashing headline. We have to take care of ourselves to make progress on everything else that needs to be taken care of. Your life may not allow for you to come first every time—but give yourself permission to come first, sometimes.

The biphobia we encounter in times like these can be poignantly frustrating. We should be able to celebrate each other’s accomplishments, without being on defense. So process that bierasure however you can–scream into a pillow, write your heart out onto a page, DANCE, encourage, try. Just remember to take the care you need.

SB Swartz
SB Swartz is an author covering inclusive wellness, queer family, and reflections of our world as seen on tv. As a contributing writer for bi.org, SB created the Step Bi Step series for bi parents and originated the This Bi Life series showcasing bi community stories.

SB would very much like to talk to you about your pets, her pets, and the way you view the world. She's her favorite somebody's mama. And yes, she's #StillBisexual.

Find SB Swartz @sbswrites on Twitter and read more of her latest @sbswartz on Medium.