Dear You: A New Year’s Love Letter


By Usbkabel

Dear You,

We’ve reached the end of 2016, and what a year it has been. Let’s take a moment to acknowledge all we choose to keep and all we hope to shed as we walk forward into a new one.

Over the course of a year we can encounter much and many. In 2016 thoughts, opinions, and beliefs that were previously held close and quieted rang out to great impact. This may have led to a deeper connection. It also may have led to deep disappointment, frustration, righteous anger. It may have led to you leaving. There can be a tension, a sadness between what you wish to be and what you need to do as a result of what is. You may not find acceptance for your decision from the outside–I hope you are able to find it at the very most, within.

Maybe you’ve made a connection that lasted a week and got you back on course; maybe you made a connection that will last your whole days through. Maybe you’ve lost a lifetime with someone you love enough for many more. Maybe you lost a connection you didn’t know you didn’t have; maybe you’ve chosen to disconnect from something that was holding you back. I hope you’re able to move forward out of love, unencumbered.

Hindsight is 20/20, and there may be thoughts or actions you took this year that you now look back on with with wishes for a different path or outcome. Have faith that you always made the best decision with not just the knowledge that was available to you at the time, but also the energy and emotional capacity you could bring. Remember that more information, time, and emotional energy give you a clarity and bigger picture than what was afforded to the you of yesterday. The you of yesterday, today, and tomorrow is worthy of the gift of self acceptance.

Maybe this is a time of year that you can’t be around your family. Maybe this is a time of year you shouldn’t. Relationships with families vary, whether they are here, here in our hearts, gone for now, or gone for the best. Within each, there are echoes of what your colleague, your friend, another found only through a monitor can in some way understand. Maybe your family are the only ones who know the true, real, all of you. Maybe it is imperative they never do. In any way, know that there is community for you–you are welcome here, with everything that paints the in and outside of you, with everything that creates the you you have been, are, and hope to be.

Whether or not it is not safe or practical for you to stand up and be counted, you count. So if you’re able to live out loudly, or it is just between you and me; no matter where the aspects of who you are and how you love lands on the spectrums of us; you are welcomed and celebrated here exactly as you define yourself, for who you are altogether, you precisely, you absolute.

So let’s do something together.

Let’s forget any negativity, any preconceptions, any burdens. Let’s just be in the moment. Let’s just breathe, be still, be our authentic selves. Let’s be quietly revolutionary and in that let us feel from every digit to every follicle the comforting blanket of knowledge that you are loved exactly as you are.

Because dear You, you are.

Wherever you are, I’m so glad you’re here.

With love,


SB Swartz
S.B. Swartz is an author covering inclusive wellness, queer family, and entertainment. As a contributing writer for, S.B. created the Step Bi Step series for bi parents and originated the This Bi Life series showcasing bi community stories. S.B. has had interviews and essays published at Shondaland, The Establishment, Bust, Ravishly, and more.

Find S.B. Swartz @sbswrites on Twitter, @sbs_writes on Instagram, and read more of her latest at