Count Me Out This Cuffing Season

12/28/2017

istock/Maridav

Every year when the weather starts to turn the sun-soaked summer into the blustery, frigid winter, it seems that all the single people of the world race to find a relationship to keep them warm through the colder months. This phenomenon is commonly known as cuffing season; a time when those who are otherwise content with being single are struck by the urge to find that monogamous bliss. I’m not sure why…it could be the holidays or it could just be that they want to save on their heating bill by cuddling up next to a warm body; whatever the reason, it’s a recurring phenomenon that has always baffled me.

Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not anti-relationship, anti-monogomy or anti-romance…I just don’t see the point of jumping into a relationship just because everyone else is or just because it’s “that time of year.”

I’m by no means a dating expert; I’m 25 years old and have never been in a serious or long-term relationship. I’ve dated casually, done the whole “we’re just hanging out” bit and had a few people I’ve thought about pursuing something more serious with, but for whatever reason, none of it has ever culminated in that official, monogamous relationship; which is a fact that I am 100% content with.

I’m content because, for the time being, the only person I really have to worry about taking care of is myself (which is in itself a daunting task.) My life is in a perennial state of chaos and quite frankly, I don’t have the time or inclination to include anyone else in the mix right now.

I think it could be because of the way I view relationships. My parents, former high school sweethearts, have been married for close to 30 years and what I have learned from them about relationships is that they take sacrifice. They’re always putting the need of my siblings and each other ahead of their own personal needs; that’s part of how their marriage has lasted all of these years.

Right now, as I try to land a stable job and navigate city life, I don’t have any desire to bring someone else’s feeling into the mix. Some might say that is selfish, but I think it is better to be upfront and honest in the fact that right now, the only person I want to have to worry about is me. What’s the point of starting something if you already have an expiration date in mind?

Maybe someone will come along soon that will change my tune, but I’m certainly not going to let the temperature change determine when that individual will come into my life; I will always find it strange that people couple up just because the winter months are upon us.

However, for those who do get caught up in cuffing season, I wish you all the best and hope that your relationship winds up being more than just a cuffing season fling; I guess the only way to know what the future holds for these relationships is to wait to see what the summer months, or the prime time to be single, brings.

Blaize Stewart
Blaize Stewart is a recent graduate of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, where he received a BA in broadcast journalism and a MA in journalism. He currently lives in Chicago, IL and works as an influencer relations associate for a full-service influencer marketing agency called Faam and as an adjunct instructor at Robert Morris University. Additionally, he runs the LGBTQ+ blog Out Loud, a space for members to share their experiences and thoughts on current events and more.