Category Archives

The In-between: Daddy Issues

I thought it impossible to have a good relationship with my father while still acknowledging the existence of our troubled past, but I now realize that a real relationship is only possible if I learn to sit with this incongruity.


The In-between: #Slut

It wasn't until I was in my 30s did I learn that sex was actually supposed to feel good to everyone involved (including me).


The In-Between: Relationship Status

I don't know if I want to be in a poly relationship, but I know that I want to communicate with my partner as if we were in a poly relationship.


The In-between: Blue Love

We frequently talk about how to support our loved ones suffering from depression, but how do we take care of ourselves while supporting our partners?


The In-between: Disconnected

While part of keeping sex workers safe is fighting human trafficking, that does not mean that all sex work is human trafficking.


The In-between: Looking for Unity in Diversity

We are diverse, we are complex, and our unique blend of difference is precisely what stitches us together into a coherent community.


The In-between: Coming Out with Alzheimer’s

Coming out to my grandfather is made doubly difficult by his disease, to him I will forever be his twenty-something year-old boy-chasing granddaughter.


The In-between: Living With Alzheimer’s

At 37, I thought I'd be living in my own home, with my partner and children. Instead, I'm living with my grandpa, about to give him a shower.


The In-between: Leaving On a Jet Plane

With $22 in my pocket, I hopped on a plane to Guam. All I knew was that a woman named Josie was supposed to meet me at the airport.


The In-between: Finding Myself In Magic Mike

One afternoon I sat down to enjoy Channing Tatum's abs and instead found a surprisingly positive representation of the lives of adult entertainers.


The In-between: Conflicted Nostalgia

Last month I slipped into a pair of stripper shoes for the first time in almost fifteen years. I was about to take my first ever formal pole dancing class...


The In-between: Walking The Line

I recently had to talk to my goddaughter about sexuality and once again found myself in the in-between. How do I support her and tell her my truth without undercutting her parents?


The In-between: 10 Reflections for a 10 Year Old

I do now, and will always, love and accept you, completely. My only hope, today and always, is that you do, too.


The In-between: A Familiar Feeling

This week we explore the in-between of being bi at Pride.


The In-between: An Opening

The in-between defines many parts of our lives, including our relationship styles. This week, I talk about my exploration of polyamory.


The In-between: Home Away from Home (Another Take On Passing)

In a broad spectrum of countries ranging from Guam to Spain to Brazil, my racial ambiguity has allowed me to float, rather effortlessly, through a variety of worlds. Ironically, this presumption of my being a local when abroad has made me experience a strange sort of homecoming whenever I travel to foreign places.


The In-between: A Meditation On Passing

In-betweeners like myself have often felt required to take up a more extreme performance of their identity in order to justify belonging.... People are free to assume whatever they like about me, my belonging remains unchanged.


The In-between: Awakenings

I learned to make jokes about it, to laugh about it, and to smile at the jokes of others. It was a difficult task that often served only to facilitate the comfort of those around me, but I wanted to belong, to feel accepted, so I grew comfortable with the idea of always leaving part of myself at the door.


Welcome to the In-between

Straddling two worlds (my years working as a stripper, and the path to my PhD) is a state I have repeatedly found myself in, in many ways and at many times throughout my life, but only recently have I come to know it by name. Welcome to the in-between.