Coming out to my grandfather is made doubly difficult by his disease, to him I will forever be his twenty-something year-old boy-chasing granddaughter.
At 37, I thought I'd be living in my own home, with my partner and children. Instead, I'm living with my grandpa, about to give him a shower.
With $22 in my pocket, I hopped on a plane to Guam. All I knew was that a woman named Josie was supposed to meet me at the airport.
One afternoon I sat down to enjoy Channing Tatum's abs and instead found a surprisingly positive representation of the lives of adult entertainers.
Last month I slipped into a pair of stripper shoes for the first time in almost fifteen years. I was about to take my first ever formal pole dancing class...
I recently had to talk to my goddaughter about sexuality and once again found myself in the in-between. How do I support her and tell her my truth without undercutting her parents?
I do now, and will always, love and accept you, completely. My only hope, today and always, is that you do, too.
This week we explore the in-between of being bi at Pride.
The in-between defines many parts of our lives, including our relationship styles. This week, I talk about my exploration of polyamory.
In a broad spectrum of countries ranging from Guam to Spain to Brazil, my racial ambiguity has allowed me to float, rather effortlessly, through a variety of worlds. Ironically, this presumption of my being a local when abroad has made me experience a strange sort of homecoming whenever I travel to foreign places.
In-betweeners like myself have often felt required to take up a more extreme performance of their identity in order to justify belonging.... People are free to assume whatever they like about me, my belonging remains unchanged.
I learned to make jokes about it, to laugh about it, and to smile at the jokes of others. It was a difficult task that often served only to facilitate the comfort of those around me, but I wanted to belong, to feel accepted, so I grew comfortable with the idea of always leaving part of myself at the door.
Straddling two worlds (my years working as a stripper, and the path to my PhD) is a state I have repeatedly found myself in, in many ways and at many times throughout my life, but only recently have I come to know it by name. Welcome to the in-between.