I am bi and I struggle with an anxiety disorder. Now, although I have grown to understand and accept both of these facts, they remain strange and oftentimes unfathomable to others.
Being bisexual, for me, doesn’t mean I don’t care about a person’s appearance. It doesn't mean that I’m only attracted to personality. On the contrary, it means I’m attracted to various physical forms (along with personality as well).
Bisexual characters are the butt of jokes in Hollywood and we’re not laughing.
Sometimes, after mentioning my bisexuality in conversation, there’s silence followed by some incredibly frustrating statements/questions. This annoying follow up conversation often keeps us in the closet, so here are some easy scripts to get you through those conversations/interrogations.
[Evan Rachel Wood's words] made me feel comforted, and a little less alone. It gave me hope for a new generation of bi kids, who would hopefully see people like her and feel a little less alone, too.
So many people think of bi folks as “greedy,” as “wanting it all,” as always on the hunt for new, more, different partners, they forget that we are also people who can be alone.
If nothing else, Gaga's example proved to hundreds of millions of people that it is possible to be a woman, a survivor of sexual assault, proudly bisexual, and a superstar.
Even gender studies classrooms may not be safe spaces. They contain the same biphobic microaggressions that bi folks encounter everywhere else in the world. I hope that somewhere out there, people are beginning to have better experiences
“You may not be able to be out in every single space that you’re interacting in, and so my hope is that for bi folks, with the spaces where one can be out, I hope they are able to capitalize on that for their own well-being.”
Why so many people feel the need to inform me of this dating prejudice, even when I've shown absolutely no interest in them, is beyond me. At the very least, these exchanges are just plain strange. But they are also very upsetting and here's why.
Now, I have a new fear when coming out. It’s not that people won’t believe it, it’s that they’ll somehow belittle my sexuality by thinking it’s “new" or "hip."
I will never vote for an anti-choice, anti-woman, anti-sex, anti-love candidate. I am proud of voting for these values and will continue to do so.
If someone is too closed minded to understand something as simple as bisexuality, they aren’t for me. If they are so insensitive that they would say biphobic things to someone they KNOW is bi, they aren’t for me.
Having President Obama in office, someone who vehemently and passionately believes in equality and fairness, told me that we were moving forward. It confirmed what I’d always believed – that the side of equal rights is the right side.
Roger may not be the average person (or alien) you would tell your kid to aspire to be. Nevertheless, there’s something in his pride, his confidence in his sexuality, and his brutal honesty that is inspiring to me.
I truly believe that there is a man, woman, or genderqueer person out there who would love to date your sexy bi self.
I can look as girly or androgynous as I want. I can climb mountains or sit in drawing rooms (first I’d have to find a drawing room). I am still a woman.
I thought it would be fun to make a "bi book club" list. I figured I'd draw on my knowledge and that of my friends to create a book of the month list and then we could all read through them together.
We’ve reached the end of 2016, and what a year it has been. Let’s take a moment to acknowledge all we choose to keep and all we hope to shed as we walk forward into a new one.
Next time someone tells you that they are polyamorous, please don't assume that they are promiscuous.
When I’m dating a man I can feel myself clinging to parts of LGBT culture harder than when I’m with a woman. Pride festivals become even more empowering than they were before. LGBT clubs feel like even more of a haven. Hell, I even find myself clinging harder to shows and books that feature queer characters.
You are bi because that’s who you are. You have no reason to be ashamed of that. You have no reason to feel guilty. You are not alone in your struggle, there are many of us out there, and we know how you feel.
At this point, I’ve now been out for a while, and no longer wallow that many people of various genders refuse to date me. The reason why? I’ve come to see the silver lining.
In a perfect world, we might not need labels, but we do not live in a perfect world.
I recently took an online Sex Addiction Screening Test. Here are my test results. It turns out that I’m probably a sex addict and a lot of other fun stuff.
Bizarrely enough, it was polyamory that forced me to confront my jealousy issues and insecurities. It was polyamory that forced me to dig deep down to see what the root of my jealousy was.
With season 12 of “Supernatural” already underway, many fans are asking, “Is Dean ever going to come out of the closet?”
We will fight for and alongside each other when the time comes. But right now, it’s okay to mourn. It’s okay to not be okay.
This election week, remember: check in with yourself, be kind to yourself, and most importantly: take care.
No, this isn’t about saying men should suffer like women have. This is about saying we should all have the right to plan when and how we become parents. Yes, men too.
These four tropes in bisexual porn seem to encompass the vast majority of videos tagged as "bisexual".
Although I've attended and participated in Prides, I'd never been on the planning side before. I showed up to the first meeting hesitant because bisexuality is often ignored by Pride organizers, but I was immediately made welcome. I loved seeing this whole thing come together, and for me the icing on the cake was when I was made Grand Marshal. Talk about bi visibility!
Please, non-bisexual people, don’t erase my sexuality. We exist, and we deserve respect and acknowledgement like everyone else.
Thanks to all the folks who shared their stories. It is wonderful to know that our community is so large, so diverse, and so proud!
In celebration of National Coming Out Day, we decided to highlight some great coming out stories shared by members of the Bi.org community. Here they are, in your own words:
Talking about sex can be weird, and often we just don't ask questions. We assume we know it all, because really how complicated can sex be?
In honor of Bi Week and Bi Visibility Day, the White House hosted a Bi Community Briefing with members of the bi community.
Gracefully transitioning between 'gay' and 'straight' culture isn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be. So, I've been asking myself, when the world is divided into 'gay and straight,' where do I put my effort into meeting a partner when I’m neither?
For those who haven't yet noticed, Bi.org is presenting our annual Bi Visibility Challenge in celebration of Bi Pride Week!
Happy Bi Visibility Day 2016! Here are some things we'd like to see accomplished before many more Bi Visibility Days have passed. What's on your Bi Wish List?
This Bi Week we are celebrating some of the many bi activists who have been instrumental in the LGBT rights movement.
It is all too common for bi people to be rejected by partners of either sex simply because we are bi. For a lot of people, bisexuality is a deal breaker when it comes to dating. This can be due to false and unfair stereotypes about bi people being confused or disloyal, or it can even be because some claims to find bi people "gross."
Sometimes the Hollywood kiss bores me. It doesn’t reflect my life or my experiences. So here is a list of kisses from fantastic films I love, films that don’t follow that very familiar, very dominant narrative.
A lot of people imagine that polyamory is some kind of carte blanche to do whatever you’d like without ever needing to apologize. In fact, it’s the exact opposite.
The message these rulings send out is loud and clear. As far as the justice system is concerned, bisexuality does not exist, and I think that that is unacceptable.
Harley Quinn is relatively new to the Suicide Squad, not appearing in that group until 2011, and I was delighted that she was going to be a part of the film. Who doesn’t want to watch a kick ass, bisexual, sexy, funny lady super villain/anti hero?
"I was indoctrinated into a kind of machismo culture, which is to say I grew up believing that a man must behave in a stereotypically masculine manner at all times. This meant carefully hiding any parts of myself that might have been perceived as stereotypically 'feminine.'"
Ask most bi people, and they will tell you that the majority of biphobia they experience is from within the LGBT community itself.
Schrimshaw found that many men aren’t “confused” about their (bi)sexuality. They know they are attracted to both men and women; however, they aren’t open about their (bi)sexuality because they fear stigma, ridicule, and being outed.
One cannot champion economic justice while simultaneously opposing social justice. As much as we may respect Pope Francis for the statements he makes in support of the poor, there's no escaping this fact. It is time for well meaning Catholics to call upon their pope and their church to reform the profound problems at the heart of this contradiction.
As much as we may want to live in a world where everyone is equal, we do not live in that world. The only way to get there is by encouraging social progress, which means discussion, which means using labels.
I don’t know which I find more insulting: the idea that we cannot elect a man because his wife has been seen naked or that we should elect a man because his wife is "hot."
We are not entertaining ourselves with women until we find the "perfect man." We are not kissing for attention or ratings. We are bi women, and we are still bi no matter whom we are dating.
Just like not all lesbians are "butch" and not all gay men are "queens," not all bi guys are a gay man's stereotyped fantasy of masculinity. Our sexual orientation is more than your porn fetish. Sorry.
So please, I know you mean well, and I’m flattered, I truly am, but stop asking me and my boyfriend to make out. Stop telling us how hot it is. Stop objectifying our queerness and love.
By asking me questions like this, people deny the love and intimacy I have with my partner, assuming we are only together for sex; that sex with her could never compare to sex with a man.
Let’s do this. Let's boldly go where no one in the Star Trek universe has gone before. Let's say bisexual.
We are a generation that loves our labels, married or single, black or white, team Edward or team Jacob. The problem is, when it comes down to sexual orientation things are not so black and white.
I want to focus on why I love being bisexual. Why it is not only a blessing, but a privilege that I was able to discover my (bi)sexuality. And even if I was magically presented the option to press a button and turn either gay or straight, I would never, in a million years, change my sexual orientation.
What other people may say or think about me, about us, has no bearing on who we are. No matter who we date, no matter who we have sex with, no matter who we fall in love with or marry, we are still bisexual. No one can take that away from us.
Bit by bit, they joined the chorus, and the protesters' megaphones were rendered useless; their futile hatred drowned out by our love. “We're here! We're queer! We're fabulous! Get used to it!” All together, over and over and over....
When someone comes out to you, it is not about you and your feelings. It’s about them opening up to you and trusting you with a part of their life that is very fragile.
This guide is a handy tool for bisexual people who want to educate friends and family, as well as for non-bi people who want to know how to be good allies to bi people.
I never had to come out to him. A fringe benefit of online dating. There it was, my truth right next to my carefully chosen handle: “bisexual.”
Isolated isn’t even the word. How can I unpack my feelings when I don’t even feel like I have a local community with which to do so? How do we create these spaces? How do we feed our communities in these moments?
It was a hate crime. Omar Mateen was a homophobe who murdered LGBT people out of sheer hatred, and that is one thing about which we can be certain.
Two decades in, one of the oldest online dating sites still doesn’t recognize bisexuality as a valid sexual orientation.
For literally everything else in life, humans can like more than one thing - and usually without judgement. It shouldn't be inconceivable to think that some of us have the capacity to be attracted to more than one gender.
In our last post on self care, we reviewed barriers to self care for the bisexual community. With that acknowledged and in mind, today let’s focus on how we can take care of ourselves.
It's revolutionary for us to love ourselves without conditions, to take care of ourselves without guilt. And there shouldn’t be any guilt in self care.
When earlier this year, Huffington Post’s Gay Voices changed their name to Queer Voices, it was another victory in the long fought battle for bi inclusion, yet it re-awoke ongoing questions and concerns about name changes.
Saying that Clarke being with a man is a bad thing because he is a man—no matter the context—is biphobic.
In modern pop culture the only indicator of bisexuality is behavior. Beyond even that, we can’t assume the character will stay that way. In reality we know bisexuality is in and of itself valid and not a phase.
The orientation (and the people who represent it) have gone from being ignored and actively erased by the media to being part of society's grand narrative.
"Maybe if people could understand that for many of us being bisexual is a permanent not transitional identity, then there was a potential that we could be understood.”
An Open Valentine for the Bi+ Community, from Bisexual.org
A fan tweeted Mark Hamill to ask if Luke "was bisexual." The actor's reply was very thoughtful. OUT Magazine's headline about the tweet, however - not so much.
If I’m being honest, I’ve felt anxiety in regards to not being “a 50/50” bisexual. Especially as an activist in the LGBT community, I stress about not being perceived as “bi enough.”
Recent studies show more young adults are identifying as bisexual than ever before. Why is that?
My intention with the #oneofus project is to give bi people something or someone to relate to.
It’s only in the last few years that we’ve begun to see bisexual characters represented as calmly as Queen Christina was 80 years ago.
Why do people who would never dare be so confrontational with another human feel totally comfortable policing my dog’s gender performance?
The Supreme Court's ruling doesn't mean that it's all over
According to GLAAD's latest media reports, on television, out of the "66 regular or recurring LGBT characters on scripted cable television, 35 are gay men, while only 4 are bisexual males." Meanwhile, of the 102 LGBT-inclusive films released in 2013 (note that's not all films, just the ones that had LGBT characters), there was only one bisexual male character. That means that less than 6% of LGBT representation on television was of bisexual men, and less than 1% in films in 2013.
Sexuality is not a binary; it’s not all gay or straight. There’s a pretty good chance you’re going to date someone who has, in the past, been romantically involved with someone of another gender. You may date someone who, in the future, will date someone of another gender. It’s not the end of the world, and it shouldn't affect your relationship.