A Quick Holiday Survival Guide
We at bi.org know just how amazing it is to be bi. You have the potential to love so many different people, you understand that there is more to the world than gay or straight, you are in great company. Unfortunately, sometimes the world isn’t as good at recognizing how awesome it is to be bi. This blindness of others can sometimes make it harder to navigate the world when bi. Holidays can be especially stressful for everyone, so here are a couple tips to help you maintain your fantastic bi self through this season.
Say No Thank You
Yes, this is the time of year to gather and be jolly. It’s also okay not to attend every jolly gathering, to have some boundaries, to say no thank you. Do the things that make you happy, do the things that are important, make a few concessions, but also give yourself permission to say “no thank you.” Stay in one night, break into your favorite holiday treat and binge watch “Jane The Virgin”, “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”, or some other bi television. Or maybe you’d rather curl up with a book; try out “The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo”. However you do it, do make some time for yourself.
There are days to smile and just let it all slide. Sometimes it’s just too much to correct your grandmother, who is trying so hard, when she mentions you’re gay. There are also times not to let it slide, there are times to stand up and be snarky. If you’re in the snarky mood, here are some responses that you can practice in advance. Even if you can’t say them aloud, it might be nice to silently recite them.
Find a Way to Show Your Bi Pride
Maybe you don’t want to spend the holiday saying, “actually, I’m bi.” That doesn’t mean you can’t find other ways to let your bi colors fly. Consider bringing a bi colored dish, drinking a rainbow cocktail, wearing some amazing unicorn swag, or just saying it all with a #StillBisexual T-shirt.
Remember, You Still Have an Online Community
When I was in college, holidays were such a mixed bag. I’d go home and spend weeks with my parents, who I love very much. They are wonderful people who have always been supportive of me. Even so, it was incredibly isolating. I didn’t really have any friends in the town my parents had relocated to and was spending a month away from the support system that I’d developed back at school. I’m going to age myself when I say that I had a daily email routine with all of my friends to support each other over the holidays. Now you can pick up your phone, hop on Facebook, and touch in with your online community whenever you’d like. You know that support is just a quick click away.
Don’t Forget Your Chosen Family
During the holidays, it is easy to get caught up in the drama of who you should spend time with, of what’s expected of you, of what “holidays” and “family” mean. I think it’s good to meditate on these things occasionally. And maybe you’re lucky and were blessed with an amazing family from birth. Maybe you weren’t. Maybe it’s more complicated than that. Regardless I’m sure that you’ve also augmented that original family over the years. Those people who you lean on when your boss yells at you, when you’ve been dumped, when you need help moving your furniture. Don’t forget that this family matters, too, and that you can continue to lean on them. If you have a stressful dinner coming up, meet up and decompress for brunch with friends the next day. Make sure to tell your chosen family how much you love and appreciate them this holiday season, too.
In the end, remember that you are bi and that you are wonderful and that this month will soon be over. Reach out to your amazing support systems, do things that make you happy, and take a break when you need to. If the holidays are a time of pure bliss for you, then go forth and continue being your rockstar bi self. Either way, happy holidays!