Questions & Answers

Are bisexuals equally attracted to both men and women?

Some are, many are not.  It all depends on the individual.  Some bisexuals are more romantically attracted to men and more physically attracted to women.  Some bisexuals are attracted to people who conform to mainstream gender norms; some are attracted specifically to people who defy those norms. For some bisexuals, gender is an important part of attraction.  For other bisexuals, it is totally irrelevant if a person is male, female, intersex, or something else.   Many bisexuals have very fixed patterns of attraction, while for others, the balance between heterosexual and homosexual attraction is fluid and changes over the years.

What unifies all these people and makes them all bisexual is the fact they have the capacity for romantic and/or sexual attraction to more than one sex or gender.


It always amazes me that there are so many people out there who think that bisexuals somehow exist in this mystical "sweet spot" where attractions to men and women are perfectly balanced. The two sides of people's faces aren't even perfectly symmetrical! Why would someone expect bisexuals' attractions to be evenly balanced? Sexuality is a complex mix of love, attractions, emotions, lust, fantasy, and ideals - it is far too complex to be 50/50 anything.


While most aren't equally attracted to both genders, there are occasional exceptions that are. I am one of the few and I truly do not feel a preference to one gender over the other. There are qualities that I love about both that are intrinsic to men and women, I don't find myself gravitating more to either side. Leave it to me to have to be the exception pretty much every time ;)


I am more attracted to women than men. And yet, I ended up marrying the only man I ever fell in love with, because he reciprocated my feelings and the women that I cared for didn't. So people more attracted to one gender in general can still end up with someone of the less emphasized gender because of the specific person who loves them.


I have always been more attracted to females and have only had sexual experiences and relationships with women, and was only attracted to men romantically and had crushes on men but not sexually...until recently when I started to have sexual feelings towards men. This only happened now I am in my thirties. I believe sexuality can be fluid and can change. I am in a committed relationship with a woman still


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